[200q20v] diary of a snow shoveler - NAC

[Fundsalo Racing]

> >Dec 8--6PM  It started to snow.
> >
> >The first snow of the season and the wife and I
took our cocktails
and
sat
> >for hours by the window watching huge, soft flakes
drift down from
heaven.
> >It looked like a Grandma Moses print.  So
romantic--We felt like
newlyweds
> >again.  I love snow.
> >
> >Dec 9--We awoke to a big beautiful blanket of
crystal white snow
covering
> >every inch of the landscape.  What a fantastic
sight.  Can there be
a
more
> >lovely place in the whole world?
> >Moving here was the best idea I've ever had!
Shoveled for the first
time
> >in years and felt like a boy again.
> >Did both the driveway and the sidewalks.  This
afternoon the snow
plow
came
> >along and covered up the sidewalks and closed in
the driveway, so I
got
to
> >shovel again.  What a perfect life!!
> >Dec 12--The sun melted all our lovely snow.  Such a
disappointment.
My
> >neighbor told me not to worry, we'll definitely
have a white
Christmas.
> >No snow on Christmas would be awful!!
> >Bob says we'll have so much snow by the end of
winter, I'll never
want to
> >see it again.  I don't think that is possible.  Bob
is such a nice
man.
> >I'm glad he's our neighbor.
> >
> >Dec 14--Snow, lovely snow!..8" last nght.  The
temperature dropped
to -20
> >degrees.  The cold makes everything sparkle so.
The wind took my
breath
> >away, but I warmed up shoveling the driveway and
sidewalks.  This is
the
> >life!  The snow plow came back this afternoon and
buried everything
again.
> >I didn't realize I would have to do quite this much
shoveling, but
I'll
> >certainly get back into shape this way.  Wish I
wouldn't huff and
puff
so.
> >
> >Dec 15--20 inches forecast.  Sold my van and bought
a 4x4 Blazer.
Bought
> >snow tires for the wife's car and 2 extra shovels.
Stocked the
freezer.
> >The wife wants a wood stove in case the electricity
goes out.  I
think
> >that's silly.  We aren't in Alaska, after all.
> >
> >Dec 16--Ice storm this morning.  Fell on my ass on
the ice in the
driveway
> >while putting down salt.  Hurt like hell.  The wife
laughtd for an
hour,
> >which I think was very cruel.
> >
> >Dec 17--Still way below freezing.  Roads are too
icy to go anywhere.
> >Electricity was off for five hours.  Had to pile
the blankets on to
stay
> >warm.. No TV.  Nothing to do but stare at the wife
and try to
irritate
her.
> >Guess we should have bought a wood stove, but won't
admit it to HER!
God
I
> >hate it when she's right.  I can't believe I'm
freezing to death in
my
own
> >living room.
> >
> >Dec 20--Electricity on but had another 14" of the
damn stuff last
night.
> >More shoveling----took all day.  Goddamn snow plow
came by twice...
> >Tried to find a neighbor kid to shovel, but they
say they're too
busy
> >playing hockey.  I think they're lying.  Called the
only hardware
store
> >around to see about buying a snow blower and
they're out....Might
have
> >another shipment in March.  I think they're lying.
Bob says I HAVE
to
> >shover or the city will have it done and bill me.
I think he's
lying.
> >
> >Dec 22--Bob was right about a white Christmas
because 13 more " of
the
> >white shit fell today, and it's so cold it probably
won't melt till
August.
> >  Took me 45 minutes to get all dressed up to go
out to shovel and
then I
> >had to piss.  By the time I got undressed, pissed
and dressed again,
I
was
> >too tire to shovel.  Tried to hire Bob, who has a
plow on his truck,
for
> >the rest of the winter, but he says he's too busy.
I think the
asshole
is
> >lying.
> >
> >Dec 23--ONLY 2" of snow today.  And it warmed up to
0 degrees.  The
wife
> >wanted me to decorate the front of the house this
morning.  What is
she
> >nuts!!!!  Why didn't she tell me to do that a month
ago??
> >She says she did.  I think she's lying.
> >
> >Dec 24--6" more of snow packed so hard by the snow
plow that I broke
the
> >shovel.  Thought I was going to have a heart
attack.  If I ever
catch the
> >son of a bitch that drives that snow plow, I'll
drag him throught
the
snow
> >by his balls!!  I know he hides around the corner
and waits for me
to
> >finish shoveling and then he comes down the street
at 100 mph and
throws
> >snow all over where I've just shoveled!
> >Tonight the wife wanted me to sing Christmas carols
with her and
open our
> >presents, but I was busy watching for the goddamn
snow plow.
> >
> >Dec 25--Merry Christmas.  20 more inches of the
!$##@&^*&@! slop
last
> >night.  Snowed in.  The idea of more shoveling
makes my blood boil.
God,
I
> >HATE snow!!!  Then the snow plow driver came by
asking for a
donation and
I
> >hit him over the head with my shovel.  The wife
says I have a bad
attitude.
> >  I think she's an idiot.  If I have to watch "It's
A Wonderful
Life" one
> >more time, I'm going to kill her.
> >
> >Dec 26--Still snowed in.. Why in the hell did we
ever move here?  It
was
> >all HER idea!!  She is really getting on my nerves.
> >
> >Dec 27--Temperature dropped to -30 degrees and
pipes froze.
> >
> >Dec 28--Warmed up to -5 degrees.  Still snowed in.
THE BITCH is
driving
me
> >crazy!!!!
> >
> >Dec 29--10 more inches.  Bob says I have to shovel
the roof or it
could
> >cave in.  That's the silliest thing I ever heard !
How stupid does
he
> >think I am?
> >
> >Dec 30--Roof caved in.  The snow plow driver is
suing me for a
million
> >dollars.  The wife went home to her mother.
Another 9" predicted.
> >
> >Dec 31--Set fire to what's left of the house.  No
more shoveling..
> >
> >Jan 8--I feel so good.. I just love those little
white pills they
keep
> >giving me.  Why am I tied to the bed?



=====
-glen

OOOO

"...if we still will adhere to the design of a national government, or, which is the same thing, of a superintending power, under the direction of a common council, we must resolve to incorporate into our plan those ingredients which may be considered as forming the characteristic difference between a league and a government; we must extend the authority of the Union to the persons of the citizens,--the only proper objects of government."

The Federalist No. 15 (Hamilton)

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