type 44 (had to do it)

[cobram at juno.com]

Safety designs decades ahead of it's time, ignoring occupants attempts to
deviate forced air anywhere but  full defrost to elimate any chance of
interrupted visibility.  The sunroof is designed to close slowly, with a
motor constructed like a slot machine pay tray to make it known to all
occupants when it's operating, a childs ballon is enough to stop it in
it's tracks lest some drunk teenager be decapitated while screaming
yeeehaww through it on prom night.  
Ever had the embarassement of engaging a starter while the engine was
already running?  Well, worry no more friends, the pinacle of german
engineers have designed lifters and exhaust manifolds (if they fail
certain models contain backup vacuum pumps) to clack at predetermined
frequencies so the operator (and those within a 75 foot radius) know the
engine is operating.  
Beep, Beep, Beep backup warning, no, no need for these crude devices, for
the clamping system that joins the rear muffler to the rest of the
exhaust is painstakingly designed to not fully seal and emit a audible
growl to give der Kinder the chance to scurry out of the way. 
And how many times have you cursed the motherless bastard who's coming at
you in the dark with his high beams on, causing you and others to drive
blindly through the atomic glare?  Well even if grammy Mae forgets the
high beams on,  drivers on the opposite side of the flow may actually
signal her to turn ON her lights,  this illumination will also save
drivers and wildlife, as a deer will not freeze in headlights it can't
see.  
Heater cores designed to leak just enough to coat themselves in sticky
antifreeze, thus operating as highly efficient pollen filters.  Fresh air
flap springs designed like shear bolts to snap  when they sense dangerous
levels of corrosive elements in the air.  
Along with these and the numerous other carefully engineered systems, the
car has no surprises, and you never feel alone.  Deja Vu is a way of
life, because no matter what happens, you've seen it before and fixed it
before.  When you find yourself thinking that changing the steering rack
for the 3rd time is "just maintenace" you have arrived at a higher plane,
grasshopper.  The uninitiated will never understand.

BCNU,
Cobram at Juno.Com
http://www.geocities.com/MotorCity/Flats/1469/

1984 5KS
1990 200TQA
1990 V8Q X 2


> <wlockwoo at zoo.uvm.edu> writes:
> >I was hoping that someone would take the reigns on this one but 
> alas, 
> >I
> >junior member of the list is fielding the question.  
> >
> >What is a type 44?
> >An Audi that typically has about 175k miles on the odometer, door 
> >handles
> >that have nothing to do with opening the doors, a rats nest of 
> leaky
> >vacuum hoses under the hood, push/pull manually operated clutches 
> >(toe
> >underneath to remove clutch pedal from floor).  Type 44's typically 
> 
> >have
> >leather interior that only shows wear on the drivers side.  
> Passenger, 
> >be
> >not forlorned (sp?) you have THE heated seat.  The sound system is
> >premium, the crackle of the integrally amplified rear speakers is 
> met 
> >by
> >the squeaks from the interior of the car and the thunks from the 
> self
> >aligning bushings.  
> >
> >Type 44 quattro's reward their owners on a daily basis with sudden 
> >period
> >of intense acceleration (intended, no lawsuit).  When under the 
> >influence
> >of these high boost runs, the car often continues straight when 
> input 
> >is
> >given through a self bleeding power steering rack.  The green blood 
> of 
> >the
> >car costs $14 per liter and will not stain your driveway for too 
> >long.
> >
> >The brake bomb is also a quality part that will remind you what 
> life 
> >was
> >like before power brakes.  Overall a type 44 is a car that makes 
> the
> >majority of us smile, because of our commitment and enjoyment of
> >"extra-routine" maintenence.
> >
> >Hope that helped,
> >
> >Bill
> >
> >88 5ktq
> >


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