People can't read ads over here...

[Gerard]

Hi!

I've got a spare set of Audi MC engine pistons and conrods. I've put
these up in the local and national classifieds over here in South
Africa. The hope was someone would call me if they were interested in a
set of used, but good, Audi turbo MC pistons.

The first call I got was for a pair of rear taillights. I suppose these
could be related to the pistons somehow.

The next call turned out to be someone actually looking for intercoolers
and the Hitachi ECUs and complete wiring looms for the 5kt/200. He never
showed up at my place so I stopped calling him. He and his friend run
the MC engine in an old Beetle and a Vanagon. No electronic control,
running stuff from the N/A engine. I think one of them used pistons from
a Ford Kent engine.

Yesterday I got a call from someone up in Johannesburg. He wanted the
timing belt pulley on the crank and other parts. When I enquired what he
was doing he told me he was turbocharging his Audi engine. It is in a
old 100/5k, so he is using the sub-assembly (block, crank, etc.) from
this N/A engine, the head off the MC engine, the pistons out of a Fiat
Uno 1.4 turbo and the fuel injectors off some BMW along with engine
management from Domingoes. I was quite stumped, really. I mean, I don't
think the Domingoes ECU costs that much and one can get a used MC engine
from quite a few places. I think perhaps the whole thing could be had
for about $1000-$2000, including the engine.

Last week I got one person looking for the Michelin Man hose. He was
kind of rude on the phone, but I told him I'd call someone and see if I
can find him some hoses. I never did call back, but this week he called
back. He was now looking for the coolant overflow tank 'cos he's was
leaking. Next thing I know he's trying to sell his car to me! 250,000km
on it, burgundy like mine, for $2500, does 140MPH all the time. The
other one had the MC engine in his old Beetle.

I think this week my ad will read:

  Audi 500 turbo, no doors, no lights, no electrics, no block,
  no crank, no interior, no exterior, no suspension, no cylinder
  head, no turbo, no exhaust manifold, no cooling system, no
  aircon system, no intercooler, no hoses, no brakes, no wheels,
  no windows, no plugs, wires or computers, no injection system,
  no gearbox, no CVs or driveshafts, no ABS, no stereo system,
  no carpeting, no parcel shelf, no alarm and central locking
  system, no exhaust system. R2000.

Perhaps they'd miss the pistons and conrods were not listed and they'll
call for them!

G.
--
1989 Audi 200