OT: The Thoughtless Man's Guide to Valentine's Day

[Lawrence C Leung]

Voice of Experience??????

On Wed, 14 Feb 2001 10:17:58 -0500 "quattro toronto"
<quattro_toronto at hotmail.com> writes:
>For when you care enough to get something on the way home from work
>
>Emergency gift #1:
>The Schoolboy Crush
>Instructions: Buy a box of kids' valentines and a disposable Polaroid 
>
>camera. Write sexy, cute messages on the valentines, then take goofy 
>pictures of yourself and stick them in the envelopes. Hide them where 
>she'll 
>stumble over them -- behind her toothbrush, on top of the dog. Sell 
>the 
>whole thing with a You-still-make-me-feel-like-a-schoolkid demeanor.
>
>Emergency gift #2:
>Instant Picnic
>Instructions: Head for the grocery store and buy a baguette, cheese, 
>wine, 
>fresh fruit, and ice cream. Go home and spread out a blanket on the 
>living-room floor. Light candles and play music. Talk in a silly 
>French 
>accent.
>
>
>Emergency gift #3:
>Bath in a Bag
>Instructions: Stop at the drugstore on your way home from work. Buy a 
>
>decorative gift bag and stuff it with as many bath products as you can 
>find 
>(bubble bath, sponge, shampoo, lotion). Attach a note that says, 
>"Tonight, 
>your body is in my hands." Flash your eyebrows; wink and head for the 
>bath. 
>(She'll faint with pleasure if you've actually cleaned the bath, 
>too.)
>
>Emergency gift #4:
>Movie Night
>Instructions: Go to the video store and rent the first movie you ever 
>
>watched together in the theater. She'll be so touched you remember 
>that she 
>won't even notice that this gift cost you $2.99. Make popcorn, drink 
>wine, 
>and see if that old stretch-your-arm-around-her-shoulder trick still 
>works.
>
>Emergency gift #5:
>The Magical Mystery Tour
>Instructions: Pick her up after work, but don't tell her where you're 
>going. 
>Then take her on a tour of places that are special to the two of you 
>-- the 
>bar where you had your first date, the park where you dropped the 
>L-bomb, 
>the parking lot where you dropped your virginity. At each spot, 
>reminisce 
>about your relationship. Memories are almost as good for her as ESPN 
>Classics are for you.
>
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