Dave Hord...Ekta....an explanation

[spokes at mail.the-wire.com]

If you recognize the subject heading, and know what it's about...please, scroll 
down.  If not, consider this email a waste of bandwidth, and delete it please.  
What follows is audi list appropriate (from three years ago) but only concerns 
list members who understand the subject heading, it has no audi content.  
































































Where do I start?


I'll start by saying that this is not an email of excuses. It's an email of 
explanation. At times it will sound like excuses, I'm not standing/hiding 
behind them...I'm merely trying to explain what happened.

When I started the whole Ekta thing I had the best intentions.  It was a little 
more then I could handle, and I did get a little behind, but I was still 
plugging away.  I was still plugging away until two days of awful news hit me.

I was diagnosed with minor brain damage, which is unrepairable. And a piece of 
my past where I was sexually abused was suddenly opened up in my life.

I lost track of my priorities.

I've spent the two of the last three years in deep depression. I've considered 
suicide many times, and gone out to go do it on four seperate occasions.  I 
destroyed my financial history, ruined my credit rating, and alienated most of 
my friends through my actions.  I also pissed off a large member of a fantastic 
community, the quattro list.

I've spent the past year trying to pick up the pieces.

I've kept a steady job for the past year and a bit, and have actually resigned 
as of today...to take on a new position at a VW dealership.  I've been working 
at paying all of my debts off, and will be debt free at the end of June.  I now 
own a car, I'm starting to get a few friends back, and for what seems like 
ever, I'm starting to enjoy life again.

I have one more dark spot in my past which I have not repaired.

I owe all of you whom I've cheated or mislead an apology.  It was never done 
under malicous thought or intention. It was one of those things I thought I 
would just go back and 'fix tomorrow'.  Tomorrow took three years.

I don't know how to fix all...I really don't.  I have added $100 US to my list 
of debts. That $100 US is going to be donated to Dan for the Audifans 
website/lists.  At this point, it has to be the last debt I pay off.  In 
addition, I am working on saving part of my 'weekly spending' money (yes, in 
order to fix things I had to go back to budgeting like a 12year old) to offer 
another donation to Dan. When it reaches a sum worth donating, I will do so.  

Anyone who wants to recieve confirmation of me actually making these donations 
needs to email me, with only the subject heading of 'donation list' . I will 
compile your email addresses, and ask Dan to email everyone on my list when I 
have donated the money.

For anyone who desires to have the money they gave me back, email me.  I have 
no clue how much I might owe anyone/everyone but I wish to be debt free. I 
don't want to have the cloud of the past three years hanging over me any 
longer.  I do not promise it will get paid back quickly, but I will hold 
everyones name in sequence, and pay you off starting this summer.  

What else can I do?  

Please, let this email quietly slip into the archives. If you wish to discuss 
it at all, do so privately.  My email address is spokes at mail.the-wire.com. Or, 
use spokes_ams at hotmail.com  -> no audi mail goes there, so I'll definetly see
your email (if you're worried I'd lose it among the list mail).


In a perfect world I hope that I'd be able to once again join the list 
actively, through both asking and answering questions.  If not...then I will 
just continue to read...and learn.


Sometimes I wish my life came equipped with a quattro system, they seem to make 
things a lot easier!

-Dave