"Thanks" (OT, list protocol-related)

[Ken Keith]

Hi Quattro List,

I received an email from another lister that surprised me today.  

It seems that I often ask for and receive help or advice and then 
don't bother thanking the helpers that respond.  I didn't realize I'd 
hurt my fellow listers in this way.

I've been on the q-list since '98, and have had many problems that I 
would have had much more difficulty handling without the q-list.  It 
is without a doubt the singular most import reason why I have been 
able to be involved in Audi's, and also the reason why I'm am 
interested in Audi's.

I have nothing but positive feelings towards my fellow list members 
as a group.  There may be a couple of posters here and there that 
"bust in" and post with all CAPS, or come off as being really 
immature, but I can even overlook that and accept them because 
we have a common interest.

When I look at some of the posts I made from way back, and it's 
funny how different they are than more recent ones, with regards to 
what they are asking or about, and also how my posts "come 
across" to me when I read them.  Of course, I like to think that I've 
matured more than not at all in all these years.

But anyways, in my response to that lister I mentioned that I am 
not particularly fond of public posts to the q-list, that are limited to 
thanking people for all the help.  I guess it's my bandwidth 
conservation point of view, and when the post doesn't add anything 
to the body of knowledge, like what the end result of the car 
problem was and what the fix was, it just adds to the clutter of the 
list like a "me too" post.  This is not intended as a criticism of 
other's postings of thanks, just an explanation for my own 
infrequency of such posts.

On the other hand, public thanks are alot easier than sending 
individual thank you emails to all the responders.  And it also 
serves to quell anyone out there with a scorecard keeping track of 
who is becoming deficient in the give and take that the q-list is.

I admit, I haven't thanked everyone who's helped me.  Usually I'll be 
stuck in "problem solving mode" until the problem is actually solved 
before I start thanking people, and sometimes by that time the 
incoming emails are either deleted or lost in the shuffle of my mail 
folders.  Other times, and perhaps more often, I'm just struggling 
with my day to day life that is almost too much for me to handle.

It's not intentional if I don't thank you, nor at all am I ungrateful.

But that's not everybody, I think.  I didn't realize that there might be 
other listers out there that have put me on their "ungrateful poster" 
list, silently watching me take and take untile they get their chance 
to respond to a direct inquiry, and slap me in the face with the 
reality of the their hurt feelings like I'm in a bad marriage or 
something.

I think on the whole I do contribute to the list.  Maybe not so much 
lately, or maybe not at all ever.  But I certainly wasn't feeling like I 
wasn't part of the community, at least until I got that post.

I don't know what else to say, except that I am grateful to all of you 
for all the help you've given me, as well as the inspiration that I get 
from this list to keep on struggling in the uphill battle against these 
cars and their tendency to always keep a person busy trying to 
keep them on the road.

I've thought of it has somewhat character-building.  Trying to have a 
unique car, being able to appreciate its qualities, while paying the 
not insignificant price of always having to push the envelope of my 
knowledge and problem solving abilities.  But it turns out that the 
character I've been building is one of an ungrateful, jerk kind of a 
guy.

If it was important enough for that lister to send me a second email 
as a reality check, after helping me with my question, then there 
are likely other's out there that I owe a bit of _expressed_ gratitude 
to.

I usually sign my requests for help or questions with a "Thanks, 
Ken", but for some people it either doesn't count or isn't enough.  I 
notice some use "TIA" for "thanks in advance", but I really don't 
keep track of who's thanking who.

I'm trying to take this criticism in a positive way, even if it was 
intended negatively.

To anyone out there that feels that I haven't paid my share of thank 
you's, THANK YOU!  If you would like a more personalized thank 
you, please let me know and I'll be sure to draft you up a really 
nice, context and recipient specific letter of appreciation.

And for those out there, if there are any, that I've helped, you don't 
have to thank me.  I try to help where I can for the sake of helping 
where I can, not to balance the scorecard of who's thanking who.

If anyone cares to discuss this with me, please feel free to 
respond, but no response is necessary.

Sincerely,

Ken Keith