Having a bad day indeed

[Steve Marinello]

Timing is everything.  This one should make you all feel better, if your
sides don't split!
____

Maybe things are not so bad.  Read on.  Are you having a bad day at the
office? If so, read the following and have a laugh.
Rob is a commercial saturation diver for Global Divers in Louisiana. He
performs underwater repairs on offshore drilling rigs. Below is a e-mail he
sent his sister. She then sent it to Laughline, who was sponsoring a "worst
job experience" contest.  Needless to say, she won.
Here's how it went:

Hi Sue,

Just another note from your bottom-dwelling brother.  Last week I had a bad
day at the office. I know you've been feeling down lately at work, so I
thought I would share my dilemma with you to make you realize it's not so
bad after all.
Before I can tell you what happened to me, I first must bore you with a few
technicalities of my job.  As you know, my office lies at the bottom of the
sea. I wear a suit to the office. It's a wet suit. This  time of year the
water is quite cool. So what we do to keep warm is this: We have a diesel
powered industrial  water heater. This $20,000.00 piece of crap sucks the
water out of the sea, heats it to a delightful temperature, and then pumps
it down to the diver through a garden hose, which is taped to the air hose.
Now this sounds like a  good plan, and I've used it several times with no
complaints. When I get to the bottom and start working, I take the hose and
stuff it down the back of my wet suit, which floods my whole suit with warm
water. It's like working in a Jacuzzi.
Everything was going well until all of a sudden, my butt started to itch.
So, of course, I scratched it.  This only made things worse. Within a few
seconds, my butt started to burn. I pulled the hose out from my back, but
the damage was done. In agony, I realized what had happened. The hot water
machine had sucked up a jellyfish and pumped it into my wet suit.  Now since
I don't have any hair on my back, the jellyfish couldn't stick to it.
However, the crack of my butt was not as fortunate. When I scratched what I
thought was a regular itch, I was actually grinding the jellyfish into my
butt. I informed the dive supervisor of my dilemma over the communicator.
His instructions were unclear due to the fact that he, along with 5 other
divers, were all laughing hysterically. Needless to say, I aborted the dive.
I was instructed to make 3 agonizing in-water decompression stops (totaling
35 minutes) before I could reach the surface to begin my chamber dry
decompression. When I arrived at the surface, I was wearing nothing but my
brass helmet.  As I climbed out of the water, the medic, with tears of
laughter running down his face, handed me a tube of cream and told me to rub
it on my butt as soon as I got in the chamber. The cream put the fire out,
but I couldn't crap for 2 days because my butt hole was swollen shut.  So,
the next time you think you're having a bad day at work, think about how
much worse it would be if you had a jellyfish shoved up your butt.


----- Original Message -----
From: <DGraber460 at aol.com>
To: <quattro at audifans.com>
Cc: <urq at audifans.com>
Sent: Wednesday, March 06, 2002 11:48 AM
Subject: Having a bad day indeed


> --
> [ Picked text/plain from multipart/alternative ]
> I think I might give the pilot a run for the "bad day" prize.
> Yesterday we found that our bookeeper was embezeling company funds, and
today
> I have a simultaneous migraine and kidney stone attack!
> Extreme physical pain, and possible financial ruin.
> Sure hope the Audi doesn't break down.
>
> Dennis
> Denver
> "Suddenly every drive is too damn short!"
>                           Audi A4 R&T ad 1998
>


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