Aargh (I'll be a no show)

[Benjamin Kaupp]

Hey y'all

to all the folks who are gonna be at the breakfast tomorrow, you will
unfortunately have to count me out. I was depressed because my ex
showed up at a party with my best friend so I was driving down highway
1 (not fast, UNDER the speed limit) when I shifted into fifth and
realized I was still in neutral. Tried again, heard some grinding,
tried fourth, got it in on the second try. (My linkage had been loose
for a while now). Tried to get it into third coming off the highway
onto Park Ave, couldn't so skipped right to second. 1st and Reverse
were found to be impossible upon reaching the red light, but I managed
to get to the bottom. I figured it was just the top row of gears that I
couldn't reach, and I've limped cars home before on just 2 and 4, so I
got in the turn lane to go home. Then I couldn't hit 2. Tried 'em all
just for good measure... My entire shift linkage was gone. I managed
through jostling and dumb luck to get it into something resembling a
gear (or at least enough that it would no longer roll without the
clutch in).
Then then night got worse. My dad (who came down to pick me up) and I
were standing by the cars and I pulled out my cell phone hands free
cord, which snagged my keys, which proceeded to escape and make a break
for it... right into a storm drain with a welded cover. Luckily the tow
truck man had a rope and we formed a crude hook out of a paperclip and
had them out of there in about 10 mins.

So now Audrey's back at R&D and I have learned some valuable lessons:
1. Don't get too worked up over young love... as Byron Stingily says "a
young heart doesn't stay sore long, another love soon will come
along..."
2. Don't stand too close to storm drains
3. Always ask for a flatbed (luckily I learned this one long ago with
my lowered BMW 2002... but that was out of preference, not absolute
necessity)
4. People are actually nice... a lot of people stopped to make sure I
was okay (but the 1st Alarm guy actually honked at me while I was in
the road the first time, nearly hit me when I had moved to the
shoulder, and blew by twice more without even glancing my way... maybe
he recognized me from my more rebellious days)

So yeah... Sorry I can't make it tomorrow (err... today) but I may have
to lower myself to Trooper-san or even the shame train (big blue taxi,
vomit box, public transportation, whatever) to even get to work...

-Ben Kaupp
'87 4kcsq (Audrey's been a bad girl)
and a bunch of nice cars I'm not allowed to drive (and Ghezuntit the
Isuzu)


--
Benjamin Kaupp
User Group Connection
bkaupp at ugconnection.com
831.295.2591