Finally! New Audi S4

[Brett Dikeman]

At 1:21 AM +0200 9/17/02, Per Lindgren wrote:
>And yes, it has a V8. From news.kak.net:
>The eight-cylinder engine's thrust enables the new Audi S4 with 6-speed
>manual gearbox to complete the sprint from 0 to 100 km/h in just 5.6
>seconds.

I should write a column.  The computer industry has had the Bastard
Operator From Hell(BOFH), I think its time for the Cynical Audi
Driver from Hell(CADH) :-)

If this comes to the states in anything except a tip, I'll be amazed-
no other Audi model comes with a 4.2 and a 6-speed in the US market.

I'll pass on that chrome grille..same thing with the fog lights,
which look like they were installed by GM.  Yuck.  Oh, and the AVUS
wheels.  It's nice, but, it's been almost 10 years for that wheel
design.  Pick somethin' new.  Really.

I think a bunch of tuners just got nervous; how do you offer tuning
products for a V8?  They had a pretty much free ride with the S4tt-
the basic upgrades yielded tons of power, were reasonably cheap, easy
to "install" by the customer, and basically once you had the code
developed(or bought the code from someone else), it cost you next to
nothing to do the work.  Unsolder chip, resolder new chip.  Done.
Lastly, they were reasonably easy to sneak past dealers(at least
while Audi didn't have a clue what was going on.)  Oh, and let's not
forget that the S4tt was in europe for a year, enough time for
performance parts to pop on the market in a reasonable timeframe.

Let's run down the list, and see if any of these other alternatives
are a)inexpensive b)easy to install for customer c)cheap to mass
produce d)easy to sneak by dealers.


-nitrous.  a)Sorta, but not really.  Tank, refills, bottle heaters,
plumbing, pressure regulators, etc.  All adds up.  b)Nope  c)Maybe.
d)Hahaha, yeah.  The dealer will never notice that extra plumbing,
Big Red Switch, and the bottle in the trunk.

Next.

-add turbos.  Besides there not being much room in there(so this is
assuming there's room), lets run down the list: a)Nope.  b)Absolutely
not(engine removal certainly required) c)nope(custom exhaust manifold
development etc) and lastly d)hahahah, yeah.  The dealer will never
notice those two funny shaped things piped into the exhaust.

Next.

-add supercharger.  Again with the not-much-room, but the list: a)Not
particularly cheap(PES's 30v V6 kit was something like $3k) b)might
be somewhat easy to install(PES's was decent, you could do it in a
weekend without trouble) c)custom manifold involved d)yeah, the
dealer will never notice that big silver thing sitting on top of the
engine.

Next.

-exhausts, intakes, chips.  The list: a)yeah, sorta, but not for the
results they give b)sorta c)sorta d)sorta.  You'll sound cooler,
that's about it.

Next.

Oops. All out of options.  The proof is in the pudding, as they say:
there are presently zero products available to tune the 4.2l except
for MTM which slapped twin turbos on at one point.  Right? In basic
form, this engine has been around for ages, and there's next to
nothing for it.

Between the end of the dot-com era where anyone with a website could
sell something for an S4(and S4's were flying off lots like paper in
the wind), and the loss of the S4 as a tuneable
platform...well...we're going to see something like the dot-bomb,
only in the tuner arena.

One also can't help but wonder how much the loss of tuning
possibilities will hurt sales of the model.

Anyone heard yet if the 2.7tt powerplant will stick around in the A6
or allroad?  I know the allroad is getting a V8, but I hadn't noticed
if it would -only- be the V8.

Brett
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