Favorite Monkey Lad Tales?

[Gerard]

My 200 was making a racket back in '99. It sounded like lifters, but I
was thinking it was a ticking manifold as well. ML gets in there with
the motor running, a huge lamp and an inspection mirror and looks for
cracks. Nothing in sight at all. Diagnosis: the turbo. Now the South
African Audi 200 has a big-ass badge on the back that says "turbo". The
guy asks me "Does this have a booster?" I figure he means turbo so I say
yes. He says "Then it's the turbo that making that noise. It'll have to
go." I'm crapping myself 'cos I can't afford such a thing. He reckons it
isn't so bad, he'll just remove the "booster" and plug it up 'cos I
really don't need it. They used to do it all the time to the Nissan Exa
turbos, he said.

Needless to say I wasn't there for long. When the engine was eventually
stripped it was found that the manifold was horribly cracked and warped
and had already ripped a few studs. Some of them clearly visible as
being missing when viewed from below the engine. I think some folks just
go through the motions of using an inspection mirror in order to look
like they know what they're doing.

G.