cop stories

[Robert Mangas]

     No VAG content in this one...

A friend of mine asks me to help him tune the aftermarket ECU in his Miata 
since I have the laptop and software required to do so.   This typically 
involves full throttle blasts to the top of third, but the top of fourth is 
better.  I ask him before we start if he knows this.

  "Sure, sure.. no problem."

I tell him I think the highway is the best place for it; hell, we live in 
the city.

   "OK, sounds good."  We get onto I-75, and I figure we'll head north away 
from the city and into the area where there's less traffic.  That's where I 
go, anyway.   Not that night.  He heads south, straight into the heart of 
Big D.

    Get to a clear spot, I start the datalogger, he slows to ~2500 rpm in 
4th (mebbe 45 mph?) and nails it.   WaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! 
  This is a built 1.9 and a low restriction exhaust in a lowered white miata 
with race stickers and a flat black hood.

   We're coming up on an on ramp at about 110 mph, and who should be 
entering the highway but John Q. Law himself?

    "Uh, Don?  That was The Man..."  Doh!

     Don signals right and we pull off at the next exit, Detroit's finest in 
tow.

    They pull up to our left and look over our car without getting out.  
"What are you guys doing?"

    "A little tuning.  Trying to get the fuel right."

    "On the street!?"

    "Well, yeah..."

     Pause.

     "What do you think we should do about this?"

     !  'He's gonna get off!' I thought to myself.  'I'd get hauled out of 
the car and shot and he's gonna get off!.'

    "Well, that's up to you, officer.  Probably I should have just gone to 
the dyno."

     "How fast will that car go, anyway?"

     I nearly laughed out loud.  As predicted, Don did get off, without even 
really a warning.  "You should slow down," I think they said.

    Robert