Citroen DS/ID Haynes Manual Translations

[Max Hoepli]

----- Original Message ----- 
To: <citroen-dsid at yahoogroups.com>
Sent: 28, January 2006 16:26
Subject: Citroen DS/ID Haynes Manual Translations


> Haynes Manual Translations
> 
> Haynes: Rotate anticlockwise.
> Translation: Clamp with visegrips then beat repeatedly with hammer
> anticlockwise.
> 
> Haynes: This is a snug fit.
> Translation: Clamp with visegrips then beat repeatedly with hammer.
> 
> Haynes: This is a tight fit.
> Translation: Clamp with visegrips then beat repeatedly with a hammer.
> 
> Haynes: As described in Chapter 7...
> Translation: That'll teach you not to read through before you start. 
> Now you are looking at scary photos of the inside of a gearbox.
> 
> Haynes: Pry...
> Translation: Hammer a screwdriver into...
> 
> Haynes: Undo...
> Translation: Go buy a tin of WD40 (giant economy size).
> 
> Haynes: Retain tiny spring...
> Translation: PINGGGG - "Where the hell did that go?"
> 
> Haynes: Press and rotate to remove bulb...
> Translation: OK - that's the glass bit off, now fetch some good 
> pliers (and maybe a plaster or two).
> 
> Haynes: Lightly...
> Translation: Start off lightly and build up till the veins on your 
> forehead are throbbing then clamp with visegrips then beat 
> repeatedly with hammer.
> 
> Haynes: Weekly checks...
> Translation: If it isn't broken don't fix it.
> 
> Haynes: Routine maintenance...
> Translation: If it isn't broken, it's about to be. We warned you...
> 
> Haynes: Bolt will be tight
> Translation: You havent a hope in hell!
> 
> Haynes: Compress...
> Translation: Squeeze with all your might, jump up and down on it, 
> throw it at the garage wall, then find some visegrips and a hammer...
> 
> Haynes: Inspect...
> Translation: Squint at really hard and pretend you know what you are 
> looking at, then declare in a loud knowing voice to your wife "Yep, 
> as I thought, it's going to need a new one"
> 
> Haynes: Carefully...
> Translation: You are about to suffer deep abrasions.
> 
> Haynes: Get an assistant...
> Translation: Prepare to humiliate yourself in front of someone you 
> know.
> 
> Haynes: Apply moderate heat...
> Translation: Unless you have a blast furnace, don't bother. 
> Alternatively, clamp with visegrips then beat repeatedly with hammer.
> 
> Haynes: Index
> Translation: List of all the things in the book, except what you 
> need to do.
> 
> Haynes: Everyday toolkit
> Translation: RAC Card & Mobile Phone
> 
> .... with thanks to Bernie Shaw (UK Traction Owners Club)
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
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