ACNA Gruppe-q Steamboat Ice Experience 2009 - Event Report

[QSHIPQ at aol.com]

Howdy q-heads!
Another sit-down at the confessional already?  Alas  a solid 3 weeks has 
passed since Gruppe-q band of Ice Dancers insurged the Rocky  Mountains, and set 
up camp in the snow covered Mountains of Steamboat Springs  CO.  Celebrating my 
15th year at this venue, and 7th year as rink  choreographer at this fine 
venue, the ice was thick, the weather stellar, and  the banks unforgiving.  We 
entertained with a vide variety of Quattros  present, from a massively tweeked 
ersatz-RS4 to a pristine 4000q, not forgetting  the crazy Aussie mustered in 
the LT1Q, present and accounted for.    Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday the 
first week of February turned out to be one  of our finer episodes of Dancing on 
Ice.  Per my usual modus, please find  the attached report in my usual "Best 
of" format.  

Best  Melodrama:  After 7 years as a too distant faction from ACNA, this 20 
car  max event caused more stir seeking ACNA Sanctioning and Insurance than a 
prison  break from Gitmo.  4 weeks of strategic chess moves, and counter  
insurgencies by snipers at the local RMC Chapter up to the days we presented our  
colors and muster papers to Commander Cox at the Steamboat Track Office.   As I 
piloted our crew thru the gunfire, it reminded me how thankless the  ascribed 
"Eventmaster" job can be.  A lot of carnage left in our wake it  would 
appear, but mostly from our counter-insurgents own friendly fire and  mis-coded 
messages.  A quick view of the glimmering ice and  welcoming handshake brought a 
smile, and the thought: 'good luck with  all that'.

Best Documentation in abcensia:  Thousands of hits on the  AW website, JNR 
coverage by Paulie et.al. on the S-car list, and fine prose  by many friends, 
sure violated our normal and customary "fly-low" principle at  this venue.  In 
the end, it would appear our historical march of the  quattros couldn't be 
better documented by our apposing forces.  A salute to  our many friends around 
the q-net community for the support.  Knowing  longtime friends are there to 
support good clean quattro fun, brings winks and  smiles to the sillyness of the 
counter-banter and posturing.

Best Friends  preventing Failure to Launch:  Without question, the words 
wisdom and  unselfish support of Craig Liechty and the Ohio Valley Region of  
ACNA.  Many times I was discouraged by the voluminous  emails, positions, 
paperwork, appeals and approaches during the 4 weeks prior to  this event...  In the 
height of the inferno, an immediate  call from a longtime friend, with 
unconditional support of our effort, couldn't  have been better timed.  Above and 
beyond Mr. L.  Words of  appreciation may fail me, but fine and noble acts of 
gentleman, are never  forgotten.  You rock mister! 

Best Most Noted in Abscencia:   Soon to be father again (admitted and 
documented) Chad C, my good friend and  fellow skater, we missed you and all the 
girls this year.  Brendan  Mikkola ("Micky") R, the hills were too quiet this 
year, and more children  wandering freely around town not in the clutches of their 
mothers.  Not  again sir!  Robert "ChimChim" D, your LT1Q project was 
present, but we do  not consider that a proxy attendance.  Pitzo minus Evo, not 
again!?   And a final to draft dodger Nathan E, fear of 034 turbo power is no  
excuse, and we had custom printed balloons to mount on your quarter panels, er  
airbags I mean.

Best Most Noted Present:  A shout out to Lt Riley,  for making the longest 
trip from the ACNA FL Region, a last minute 'go' that had  too many 
contingencies attached to it, I got confused even after the excel  spreadsheet.  Who's 
car,  what flight, truck from the  airport, 200tq, LT1Q...   what?!

Best Notable Potable:   Flying ace from Aussie, "Snoop-dog" Golledge, and the 
often-flogged, never  imitated LT1Q.  Just when one gets used to the 
melodious sounds of I5 WRC  imitation wails, the brutal combat ready sounds of a 
tweeked corvette engine in  full battle dress, gave whiplash to those riding and 
those turning to see who  got to co-tango with Lucifers horns this time.  A fine 
show, as  usual.

Best Quote of the Week:  "Best tell your crew, the snow banks  aren't 
puffy....  Think of them as guardrails"...  Er, yes...   Ask Pederson, Bergmann, Dr. 
B...  Ok, don't ask-dont tell Golledge,  he's busy discounting that charge.

Best Insurgents of Insurgents:   Mssrs Hackl and Lawson couldn't fester a 
quattro between them, so they both  drove scoobie-dos.  One might think this 
deviancy quite ok, except for the  fact they own 7 urquattros between them.  That 
defines heretical behavior,  and somewhere I will find the verbiage that calls 
for public censorship of those  acts.  Quite possible that Hackl got a Blago 
pre-departure pardon in  January, but those documents are sealed at this time.

Best Foreshadow of  Events to Come:  Turn 2, longtime professional student of 
Ice Hockey   M. Pederson presenting to his radio-man (me), "oh s*&t"...  To 
which I  calmly replied, "yup" as I reached over to seal the window hatch.  
See:  snow banks are guardrails...  Those 6 seconds quite possibly similar to the 
 cockpit during the Hudson landing...  When we were done, the passenger  and 
crew member were also fine, and the rescue craft arrived with tow ropes  
immediately.  Big Dog (F350TD Pickup with plow) a somber reminder that the  banks 
are not marshmellows this year.

Best Foreshadow of Events to Come  Prep:  Dr B, another longtime professional 
student of Ice Hockey, changing  bumper-wear to the "Steamboat Bumper" and 
bringing a new roll of black duct tape  to mask the obvious.  Fine surgical 
stitching from a GP.  

Best  Toy on the Track:  M Pederson bringing the coveted and now standard 
Hero  Digital Motorsports camera.  After years of comical shaky video, a quick  
attachment of the octopus tenacles of this mount to the windhield, and the 
image  stabilization is second to none.  Tested by yours truly, some great pans of 
 the camera - by panning the car - in the carousel made for classic  footage.

Best Western:  8 wayward cowboys sharing the condo made for  some raw jokes 
and gave high priority to careful selection of menu  choices.  A far cry and 
noteworthy stark contrast to the excess of Papa  Ed's Mountain/Momma's flowers, 
white egg omlettes and fine buffets.  This  on the skinny version wasn't far 
off spring break in Lauderdale with snow.   This cowboy tent was no place for 
women this year, and thankfully for us all,  there weren't any.

Best MacGuyver on Track:  Aussie silver cross  award to Golledge.  After 
losing Radiator 2 to a fly-by bird injestion,  some 4 feet of Napa spagetti later, 
the LT1Q was able to fly on Radiator 1  only.  Alas, the valkerie attempt at 
that sabatoge proved futile, as the  LT1Q lost only 2 gallons of the 6 to the 
incident, and the guardrails continued  to get remolded in the usual flare....

Best Service Off-Track:  A  relaxed visit at Meadowcreek Tire with WG Giles, 
owner Gary B a most gracious  host in absencia.  For two guys with enough 
tools to rebuild a 20vt motor,  coffee and donuts waiting on gummy Rsi's was quite 
a treat.  A great thanks  for that consideration Mr. B.

Best Eats:  That was pre-track for me,  the massive breakfast burro at the 
diner down the street from Hackl's 'shop', a  gastric delight expressly 
forbotten from the Condo menus.  

Best  Workplace outside the Home:  Laddie Hackl's handy car lift in his 
garage,  surrounded by more spare urq parts than any enthusiast could imagine.   
Thankfully for our defacto collector of all lifesize things urq, I only needed  
to steal a engine temp sender to plug the leaking power steering pressure  
sender.  2nd prize for best MacGuyver on that repair.  

Best  pseudo-Caffeine Rush:  Following Laddie up to the Springs, thinking 
twice  about the WRC inner headlight delete on the urq, 70-0 brake checks - 
twice, for  Elk!  With backs taller than the roof of a 'jacked' Allroad, no matter 
how  tall you sit in the seat of a Quattro, you still feel intimidated.  It  
wasn't so much letting the 4 cross the road, it was the 85 on the other side  
waiting!

Best visit at the Track:  Brandon R bringing up his  pristine 20vt Urq, just 
in case anyone needed spare parts.  Unfortunately,  he knew better than to 
leave his open hood unattended.  Riley and myself  already computing how much 
time we 'really' needed to do that swap in situ  without Brandons keys.  

Best Sponsorship Sticker application  twice removed:  Laddie takes on the 4 
foot cookie in turn 6, causing the RF  Urq fender "lincoln Welding" sticker 
carnage to then read something slang  and possibly pornographic.  Bergmann, with 
race stickers up the RR quarter  window, covering missing-same.  The 
frustrating fisheye lense optical  illusion created by these applique's expertly 
corrected by Gary in turn 10 on  day 3.  Er, Gary, Lee did have other lenses!

Best Ride of the  ex's:  Co-exhusband's Lee and myself, dodging incoming scud 
missle attacks  on our respective cell phones, during spirited track runs.  
Thankfully,  even with caller ID and urgent text message status, neither of us 
took out our  respective machines with any vengeful maneuvering amid  the 
flak-attacks.  The pinnacle was coordinated text messages by our  respective ex's 
when we were in my urq for a ride.  Helmets required,  breath out, squeeze 
trigger... on the radio that is.  Full  moon?

That's the highlight of it all boys.  Another year in the  books, and more 
laughter and fun than grown men could expect to have.  Some  notable thanks and 
shout-outs too....  Commander Cox, for your patience  prior to, the 
consideration during, and your sharing the ride as our host.   Great venue!  Gary B, 
fine friends should meet more often, you are not old  kind sir, you know that 
having fun keeps you young.  Peter C, the thought  of you and me in the same 
town, defines behavioral miscreants, and the quattro  world just might get better 
because of it.  WG, Safety Steward  extraordinaire, our ride out as old 
ProRally comrades I will never forget, and  your work at the track notable for the 
root of laughter and fun = safety.   Laddie, Registrar/Treasurer...  Not sure 
how you made this happen in spite  of all the obstacles put before us, but 
shows a solid team of brothers, can  conquer monumental things.  Paulie, Ben, 
Brandon, Dawson et.al.   Thanks for the support and holding the i-fort during our 
Steamboat  Mission.  Many kind and some JNR words I still chuckle reading.  So 
 many years and bonds, make for tough counter-terrorism efforts against us.   
Dr. B, even without your hockey skates, your free clinic at the condo was 
most  enlightening for us kids getting older desparately seeking uuuuthe.  To the 
 wives, the ex's, the girlfriends and the loved ones that support this 
addiction  unconditionally...  Thanks again for allowing us a couple days with the  
mistress we call quattro.  And finally, a quick shout-out to my late Uncle  
Jim who passed suddenly just prior to this Event.  One of the  true extreme car 
guys and motorheads in my life from when I was a wee lad,  the roots of all 
this fun, couldn't have a better spirit smiling upon it.   Heaven is now a much 
more engine-friendly place with you in it.   Salut!

Until next season my quattro friends, I remain...

Sliding  with this years' stars

Scott J
Eventmaster
ACNA Gruppe-Q Steamboat  Ice Driving Experience
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