passengers as witnesses, media accounts (NAC)

[Mike Arman]

Agree that passenger "testimony", no matter how well intentioned is 99.9999% utterly useless.

I'm an FAA Aviation Safety Counselor (This program is morphing into something called the "FAAST" 
team, should be done by the end of 2007 . . . we hope) and I read a lot of general aviation accident 
reports.

We listen politely, nod appreciatively, and write it all down. Once in a very great while we find 
something that actually has a relationship to the accident or incident being investigated. 
Unfortunately, most passengers have NO idea what they are looking at, hearing, or feeling, even when 
they have the very best intentions (and most of them do) and are truly trying to help.


The media, on the other hand, is primarily interested in increasing circulation. A "small" aircraft 
is anything smaller than a 747 or a C5A. All small aircraft are 1) yellow and 2) Piper Cubs. Every 
single accident is described as "the engine stalled and the airplane just fell out of the sky!!!"



My favorite "media accident report" involved a banner-towing airplane which wound up in someone's 
back yard (pilot unhurt). The "reporter" was hyperventilating, goggle-eyed, yawping urgently into 
the microphone (which was being held in a death-grip) about "highly flammable octane aircraft fuel 
splashed everywhere!!!!!!!!"

Ummm, ma'm it's gasoline, same as in your car . . .

The airplane was being run on car gas (legally), and had a non-fuel related engine problem (threw a 
rod).

The fact that the Airbus was filmed on multiple security cameras only shows it descending under 
control towards the water. The cameras couldn't show if the engines were running or not, or why. The 
passengers were hardly in a position to give an unbiased, unemotional account of the ditching since 
they were intimately involved in it at the time. None of this helps the investigation, but it sure 
makes good media footage and great quotes in such highly regarded publications such as People and 
National Inquirer (who has either or probably will claim "angels guided the airplane into the river" 
or some such. What's his name Sullenberger had nothing to do with it . . . )


I don't know if there is software on the Airbus that shuts down an engine automatically if it is out 
of parameters, but there very well could be. Those engines are gawd-awful expensive, and the Airbus 
"cockpit design philosophy" is "dark and quiet". If all the indicators are dark and the alarms are 
quiet, everything is OK, you don't need an instrument scan (other than the flight instruments). I'm 
not a fan of this, I want to be able to monitor TRENDS, such as "the oil temp on #4 has been rising 
steadily for the past half hour" so I can plan ahead, rather than "Oh **** #4 is overheated!" when 
the light/horn/bell/flasher comes on, and WTF do I do now? (Grab the Pilot's Operating Handbook, 
turn to page 4,045, read fast. I note the POH is printed on paper and doesn't need batteries.)

The problem of course is that this software doesn't ever expect BOTH engines to go kaflooey 
(technical term) at the same time, giving you a big glider. There needs to be an emergency override 
so the pilot can tell the computer "Yeah, I know the engine is going to puke in three minutes if it 
doesn't shut down, but if it does, we're gonna hit that mountain in two minutes 30 seconds, so keep 
it running dammit!"


Bringing us back to the more mundane and considerably less expensive world of road vehicles, BMW 
motorcycles (the "Oilheads") have a computer system which features a "hard lock" - if the computer 
sees a parameter it doesn't like, it shuts off the engine, that's it, you are parked right here, so 
call the local BMW dealer because even his big bucks service call is going to be less expensive than 
the damage you will do to your bike if you continue to ride. There is NO override, you are stopped.

BMW motorcycles are often ridden to some fairly inhospitable places, so if your Oilhead hard locks 
itself in the middle of the desert, BMW advises you to ignore the sword-waving Janjaweed Militia 
closing in on you, the dealer will be there to assist you soon. Alternatively, you might be on the 
Alaskan highway, and playing polar bear bait wasn't what you had in mind, but remember, the computer 
knows best, wait for the dealer to arrive!


Best Regards,

Mike Arman