Merry Christmas to all!

[TWFAUST at aol.com]

A Car Guys Christmas
(Probably more suitable for those of us  who have a muscle car, or two, 
hidden away. I got this from Hemmings and thought  I would pass it along)
 
  ‘Twas the night before Christmas, and in the  garage
There sat in the corner, a classic old Dodge
My sixty nine Charger,  near ready to go
To all of next season’s burnouts and shows
 
Its  perfect black body, with a white R/T stripe
Red leather interior, the seats  are just right
A pistol grip shifter coming up through the floor
Now  hooked to a six speed, not five, and not four. 
It  sits with the hood up, not quite running yet
The problem elusive, but simple  I bet
The four-two-six HEMI of legend and lore
“Why won’t you run? I can’t  take it no more.” 
Now  freshly rebuilt, this elephant mill
Just thinking about it gives me a  chill
All of that horsepower, all of that torque
I can’t make it run. I  feel like a dork. 
I’m  about to turn in, and go off to bed
Thinking a good sleep should help clear  my head
When ever so slightly, I hear someone’s laughter
And jingle bells  ringing, and hooves pitter-patter 
“Is  this for real?” I thought to myself
Could it be? The jolly old elf?
I  opened the side door and had a look out
The sleigh that I saw removed any  doubt 
Across  the street, he was making the rounds
Rooftop to rooftop, in leaps and  bounds
Then he was gone, but the sleigh still remained
For what happened  next, I’ll have to explain 
As  I turned around, what do you know
Santa Claus himself, the star of the  show
Was standing there, grinning, right there by the car
His pearly  whites glistening, reflecting like stars 
I  stammered “S-Santa?!” And he started to snicker
I took a deep breath to calm  down my ticker
He was checking it over, no angle undone
And then he said  nicely, “Can I hear it run?” 
I  hated to say it, had no other choice
This problem I had with my Charger’s  voice
“I wish that we could, but I’m afraid not tonight.
It’ll turn over,  but it simply won’t light.I know it’s ignition, of this I
’m sure.
But I’m out  of ideas. Do you have a cure?” 
He  pondered a moment, then scratched his chin.
“I have an idea. Why don’t you  jump in?”
I climbed in the car as he fiddled around
And he said “Aha! You  have a bad ground.
This wire on the coil should be attached here.”
And  over he moved it, without any fear. 
“Hit  it!” he said, his grin growing wide
I pushed in the clutch and let out a  sigh
I wiggled the shifter and hit the ol’ key…
And it fired at once. I  howled with glee! 
The  exhaust is so loud it rattles the walls
Santa yelled over it, “I bet this  thing hauls!”
I killed it and jumped out, unable to speak
Santa had fixed  it with one little tweak! 
“You  know about cars?” I finally asked.
“Oh, yes!” he replied. “My veins run with  gas.
I work but one night, so with my spare time
I tinker and wrench, it  sharpens the mind.
I have a collection that rivals the best
It’s my  preferred hobby when I am at rest.” 
I  shook his hand thank you, we nodded goodbye
And with that he vanished in the  blink of an eye.
As I went in to head off to bed,
I thought about  everything Santa had said
Turns out he’s a car guy! And now that you  know,
Perhaps you’ll see him – at your next show!