[s-cars] twas the night before service

[Richard Molk]

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Hello All:

Twas the night before service
And all through the night,
I wondered if they would repair it all right.

Just a tuneup it needed,
And a timing belt too,
To go another 87k miles or two.

The first day at the dealer,
The work was not done,
It needed another four hours of fun.

Then four more, then eight,
Then twelve more did they say,
What they meant was just leave it and then go away.

I asked how come
This job takes so long,
They said don’t worry, nothing is wrong.

It’s just making some noises
Just needs set the timing,
And get ready to get your check out for signing.

Why look so mad
Your appearance is snide
Do you think the inside of your motor is fried?

We work here all day,
We know what we’re doing,
So don’t ever think of a lawyer and suing.

Then I asked them, I said
Is this fit interference?
They said oh no, lots and lots of valve clearance.

To the listers I went
To get the right answer
You all said my pistons and valves are a smasher.

Needs a motor, a head
Maybe more did you say.
Don’t let them fix it, better take it away.

They took off the head
And saw my valves bent
Then asked me to trust them, from Audi they’re sent.

They would give me a new valve
Or maybe just two
If it needed them that is, and a valve seal too.

But a new head or piston
Or rod warrantee,
Well that they’re afraid would be up to me.

And Audi hotline
What advice did they offer?
Don’t bother us, we have no help to proffer.

So where is my car
That sweet green S6
It’s out on their lot with no hope of a fix.

With no trust for the dealer,
And no Audi warranty
The car just isn’t the same ride for me.

So listen my child
Keep your eyes on your car
Or maybe you too will see it just from afar.

The dealer’s supposed
To know what he’s doing,
And keep a disasterous mess from ensuing

But for me and my wife
I just have to say
For the dealer’s great deal, well for us it’s no way.

Thinking of and thanking all of you this Christmas,
Rich Molk
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