[s-cars] Fw: Fly Quantus NAC

[tblack]

Paul, Some food for thought on a quiet Tuesday afternoon.
Tom Black
>
> > Subject: Fly Quantus
> >
> > Subject: Fw: Fly Quantas!
> > Aircraft Maintenance Problems and Solutions
> > Never let it be said that ground crews and engineers lack a sense of
> humor.
> > Here are some actual logged maintenance complaints and
> > problems known as "squawks," submitted
> > by QUANTAS pilots and the solution recorded by maintenance
> > engineers. By the way Quantas is the only major airline that has never
had
> an accident.
> >
> > P = The problem logged by the pilot.
> > S = The solution and action taken by the engineers.
> >
> > P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.
> >  S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.
> >
> >  P: Test flight OK, except autoland very rough.
> >  S: Autoland not installed on this aircraft.
> >
> >  P: No. 2 propeller seeping prop fluid.
> >  S: No. 2 propeller seepage normal.  Nos. 1, 3 and 4 propellers lack
> normal seepage
> >
> > P: Something loose in cockpit.
> >  S: Something tightened in cockpit.
> >
> >  P: Dead bugs on windshield.
> >  S: Live bugs on backorder.
> >
> >  P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200-fpm descent.
> >  S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.
> >
> >  P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
> >  S: Evidence removed.
> >
> >  P: DME volume unbelievably loud.
> > S: DME volume set to more believable level.
> >
> >  P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
> > S: That's what they're there for.
> >
> >  P: IFF inoperative.
> >  S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.
> >
> >  P: Suspected crack in windscreen.
> >  S: Suspect you're right.
> >
> >  P: Number 3 engine missing.
> >  S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.
> >
> >  P: Aircraft handles funny.
> >  S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious.
> >
> >  P: Target radar hums.
> >  S: Reprogrammed target radar with words.
> >
> >  P: Mouse in cockpit.
> >  S: Cat installed.
> >
> >
>
>
>