[s-cars] B I G snow tires

[Raymond H. Tomlinson]

Preface:  I'm a Vermonter, transplanted here in Boston.  I wear a Carhart jacket that has blood stains (mine, I think) on the sleeve, and the elbows and wrists are worn off.  Grew up racing Volvo wagons.  I know about wallow, understeer, poor brakes and lack of power.  I run dedicated snows.  Sometimes year-round.  I am a diehard Nokia snow owner.  Given the opportunity, I'd run nothing else.  Except when the Hakka 1, Hakka 2, Hakka Q are NOT offered in 17" fitments, and when my local Nokia dealer wants to sell me 225/45/17 NRW's for $213.07 per, sans any french kissing first.  To top it all off, sperm banks don't pay what they used to.  Or, maybe it is just me.

Like everything in life, I wait until panic mode sets in.  I work better under pressure.  I'm supposed to go home this weekend (Vermont).  Mom says we're supposed to get hit with a bad storm.  So, I call my trusty salesman at the Tire Rack.  Luke praises the Blizzak LM22.  Our dialogue:

RAY:  I want the name of the moron(s) who reported to you that Pole S03's are "good" in the snow.  Christ, at 40F in the rain they are downright dangerous.  Clearly these idiots are related to you.

LUKE:  (chuckling) Actually, I think it was your father.

RAY:  That's pretty funny.  Considering that my father died a horrific death when I ran him over with the tractor and brush hog when I was 12.  (uneasy pause)  Seriously, when are you going to offer real snows, like my favorite Hakka 1's?

LUKE:  (as if I said nothing) I'd go with the Blizzak LM22.

RAY:  Of course you would.  You get another free jumper cable set and fuzzy hat that you can re-gift to your mother-in-law for Christmas.  Plus, I'd like my snows to last more than a month, so don't offer me none of that multi-cell crap.

LUKE:  If you would shut the hell up, and listen to me, you would know LEARN that the LM22 is NOT a multi-cell compound.  Isn't it funny how SOME people can be so opinionated, yet not have all the facts?

RAY:  Are we married?  Do you wash the stains out of my underwear?  Do we share a joint checking account?  How about we try it this way:  I'll ask you what tire in a 225 lays down the least treadwith, and you give me the price that will keep me referring people to you.  Deal?

LUKE:  Oh yeah, I forgot.  The Audi guys know everything.

RAY:  No, just me.  But, at least you are catching on.  Always nice to chat with you.  Do you still have my credit card on file?

LUKE:  I've already shipped the tires.  Thanks for the jumper cable set.


Luke proceeds to tell me that the LM22 in a 225 lays down only 6.9" of tread.  Looking through my notes, I find that a 205/55/16 Hakka 1 lays down 8.4" of treadwidth.

Then, I start running another dialogue in my head:  Do I buy yet another set of 16" wheels, this time clearing my brakes by a hair, and then repaint my mutilated calipers in the spring, or do I throw snows on my 17" wheels and then drop coin for some Superleggera's in the spring?

Any and all thoughts welcome.

Ray Tomlinson