[s-cars] Axis of Evil (it's Friday, NAC)

[Philip Mische]

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This is a press release from Jon Cleese (of Monty Python fame).

Bitter after being snubbed for membership in the Axis of Evil, Libya,
China, and Syria today announced they had formed the "Axis of Just as
Evil, "  which they said would be more evil than that stupid
Iran-Iraq-North Korea axis President Bush warned of in his State of the
Union address. Axis of Evil members, however, immediately dismissed the
new axis as having, for starters, a really dumb name.  " Right. They are
Just as Evil... in their dreams! "  declared North Korean leader Kim
Jong-il. " Everybody knows we're the best evils... best at being
evil...we're the best. "

Diplomats from Syria denied they were jealous over being excluded,
although they conceded they did ask if they could join the Axis of Evil.
"They told us it was full,"  said Syrian President Bashar al-Assad. "An
Axis can't have more than three countries,"  explained Iraqi President
Saddam Hussein.  "This is not my rule, it's tradition. In World War II
you had Germany, Italy, and Japan in the evil Axis. So you can only have
three, and a secret handshake. Ours is wicked cool."

International reaction to Bush's Axis of Evil declaration was swift, as
within minutes, France surrendered. Elsewhere, peer-conscious nations
rushed to gain triumvirate status in what became a game of geopolitical
chairs. Cuba, Sudan, and Serbia said they had formed the Axis of
Somewhat Evil, forcing Somalia to join with Uganda and Myanmar in the
Axis of Occasionally Evil, while Bulgaria, Indonesia and Russia
established the Axis of Not So Much Evil Really As Just Generally
Disagreeable.

With the criteria suddenly expanded and all the desirable clubs filling
up, Sierra Leone, El Salvador, and Rwanda applied to be called the Axis
of Countries That Aren't the Worst But Certainly Won't Be Asked to Host
the Olympics; Canada, Mexico, and Australia formed the Axis of Nations
That Are Actually Quite Nice But Secretly Have Some Nasty Thoughts About
America, while Scotland, New Zealand and Spain established the Axis of
Countries That Be Allowed to Ask Sheep to Wear Lipstick.

"That's not a threat, really, just something we like to do," said
Scottish Executive First Minister Jack McConnell. While wondering if the
other nations of the world weren't perhaps making fun of him, a cautious
Bush granted approval for most axes, although he rejected the
establishment of the Axis of Countries Whose Names End in  " Guay,"
accusing one of its members of filing a false application. Officials
from Paraguay, Uruguay, and Chadguay denied the charges. Israel,
meanwhile, insisted it didn't want to join any Axis, but privately,
world leaders said that's only because no one asked them.