[s-cars] Re: RS2 ebay auctions cancelled + belated Euro-report (LONG)

[Jim Klein]

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Hi boys,
Jeez, how quickly they turn on one of their own....I especially like
that picture of the HealthCare Expert that somehow has appropriated my
good name.  Gee, Bill, if you think that 's me, you've been sucking down
too many Diet Pepsi's again!...
Anyway, no, I am just taking a breather from the S-car scene, what with
the baby and the work situation still sucking, I realized that I'd
driven the car a total of 1500 miles in the last 6 months with no
prospect of finding the time to turn it into the fire-breathing monster
I wanted it to be.  So I decided to turn it loose.  The buyer offered to
let me borrow it if I ever wanted. Of course when I suggested that I
borrow it to go to Colorado for another ice-driving session, that offer
was quickly exposed for what it really was.  Uh yeah, maybe not....
Anyways, these days we're just driving the Mommy-volvo-mobile as well as
the GTI16v city-beater.  But I will be back one day, never fear.  And
unlike Pizzo, that Huuoooorrr (How exactly do you write down Joey Pants'
pronunciation of whore?) I will not sell out to a foeign temptress from
the far east.

And now on to the main event - September's IAA and factory tour trip:
Arrived at FRA airport with both friends (Jim Bonnet from the list and
Don, not from this list) both touching down within an hour, got the
rental car (A4 Avant 1.9Tdi), loaded our stuff, took off for the
Autobahn and realized that a 1.9Tdi will happily spin its woefully
under-tired self all the way into third gear.  Giggling, we merge onto
the Autobahn and head toward Ingolstadt.  Within 20 minutes, we are
doing a solid indicated 240 km/h on a light downhill passing 95% of the
traffic and watching out behind for faster stuff.  Got to Ingolstadt in
about 2.5 hours and notice that more than 75% of the cars driving around
are Aud's.  Just unbelieveable.  Drank beer and woke up the next morning
for our private english language tour of Audi.  2 hours  and about 5
miles of walking later, we emerge with a full understanding of how A4's
and A3's are built.  The next couple of hours are spent in the Museum
including about half an hour wherein Jim B. and I are both on our backs
trying to get underneath the Michele Mouton rally car and checking it
out.  The docent watching us seemed somewhat amused by our antics.  I
don't know, but this is better than the Louvre, you can't get this close
to the Mona Lisa without getting peppersprayed by the guard...After Audi
we drove 5 miles and visited MTM.  Very nice, tiny place, very cool.
The guy showed us around, admitted that he knew Frederic, and then
showed us the back shed which among other things contained an Audi S1
rally car (the winged one) in HB livery, TWO Sport Quattros, both white,
the Guigiaro concept car from the autoshow circuit along with a bare
shell of an RS6 Avant that they plan to build into a race car.
Fantastic, everyone should visit.
After Ingolstadt we head to Munich,  We missed our BMW tour, the guy
there was a total prick saying we are welcome to return in 3 weeks for
the next opening.  Yeah, whatever, dude.  Your museum needs updating,
it's gotten ugly, dirty , and outdated.  However, that night at the
Hofbrauhaus was something else.  Somehow we hooked up with a tour group
from Down under and Jim Bonnet decides to impress the 21 year-old girls
with how much beer he can drink. I keep up, barely.  It's like we're
back in college.  Nobody is impressed except Don, who shepherds us back
to the Hotel.  Jim is yakking half the night and I relieve myself in a
doorway.  Truly pathetic and Don is no longer impressed.  Oh, and the
next morning we attempt to fix the rental car as in the rain the night
before I tried to park on an abandoned raiload spurline and manage to
high center it on a spike.  Here I am assuming that since the car is not
a quattro I am clearly just stuck in the dirt and start to rock the car
with the clutch and throttle.  Turns out all I am doing is ripping the
hell out of the belly pan under the tranny.  It is now dragging
something fierce but the front it still screwed on securely.  We manage
to cram it back up and hope it does not dislodge at 140mph.  Oy vey.
Next we go on to Stuttgart.  In the morning we tour Porsche.  Damn, I
gots to get me one of those cars!  And the german exhausts sound MUCH
better than whatever they put on for the US-bound cars.  It is fantastic
what they do in that little space they have.  Immediately afterward we
tour Mercedes, what a contrast!  Saw 8 Maybachs parked nose-to-tail in a
delivery area and then also watched people pick up their cars at the
factory.  This one 70-something guy was hopping up and down and about to
wet himself while waiting for the rep to explain to him all the features
of his SL600AMG.  The family next to him picking up a C180 with steelies
was just looking at his car feeling bad for themselves.  We realized
that every car was silver or black and had it confirmed that in Germany
this year 46%  of all new cars are silver, 28% are black, 18% are dark
blue with the rest being other colors.  And that is really how it is,
very different than here.
After this we took our longest run - all the way up to Wolfsburg for
Autostadt.  In the rain.  Almost the whole time.  Saw several people
slide off the autobahn.  In a few rare dry spells kept passing and
repassing this total nutcase in an Audi A2 with steelies, no hubcaps,
that was doing about 120mph.  Then had trouble gaining on a a VW
Multivan (Eurovan) that after about 10 miles we finally get past.  The
dude had 6 construction workers in the van and was doing well over
100mph and only slowed down after a huge wind gust on a high bridge
moved him over a whole lane.  Shorts-check in the van after that, no
doubt.
Wolfsburg is this tiny town with this huge factory and the Autostadt
amusement park, shrine to car lovers and factory delivery center.  It is
FANTASTIC and I highly recommend it to anyone who has any excuse to be
in Northern Germany.  Every VW marque has their own building with
display and conceptual/abstract stuff that was just amazing.  You do not
have to be a carfreak to enjoy it, literally the whole family can enjoy
this place.  Oh, and the museum has another Sport Quattro on display.
Spent all day there while it was still raining and then at night headed
back down to Frankfurt for the Autoshow the next day.
But before the Autoshow at 3am there is banging at the door and everyone
has to evac due to a bombthreat.  Hotel was a Ramada, american-owned..
Hang out outside for an hour then are allowed back in.  Sleep poorly,
get up early and check out.  We are going to find a new hotel the next
night.  This sucks.  Anyway, the Autoshow was FANTASTIC.  We managed to
see everything in one loooooong day.  Highly recommended.  My buddy Don
is just about to wet himself looking at the models next to all the
cars.  Some of the outfits were just unbeleivable.  Oh, and the cars
were nice too :-)
The next day, Saturday, we head to the Nurburgring.  That's right, baby,
we are taking the Tdi for some hot laps!  Get there, the lot is FILLED
with Lotus Elises, several M3CSL's, an RS4 or two, STi's and Evo
everywhere and about a million motorcycles form England.  We seem to be
the only rental car. And definitely the only diesel.
We each do three laps.  My first lap is total recon, I have no idea,
just try to stay right and not hit anybody.  I get passed by EVERYBODY
until the end of the second lap when I blow by a guy in a Boxster who
was just clueless.  I felt great, lots of high-fives in the car.  My
personal laprecord at this point seems to be a solid 20
minutes.....Stefan Bellof is in no danger here.  Jim Bonnet takes the
wheel next, he gets luckier and passed a coupleof Fiats right off the
bat, then also bags a Boxster and then we see in the distance.......an
RS2!  We are just about to wet outselves as Jim gains on the guy.
Eventually under braking we somehow take this guy and are on the biggest
high.  How emabrrasing to be passed by a Tdi piled high with luggage
and  3 guys with the tires shrieking like Pizzo's date on promnight.  I
then go out for another lap (after the track reopens due to the
lifeflight chopper taking away another biker.)  Man, those guys can't
seem to stay on their bikes, lots of motocycle wrecks and several car
wrecks too.  Anyway, so my last lap goes well, the car gets REALLLY
light going down that one downhill slight lefthander with bumps in it
and almost drifts over onto the lawn.  I am all puckered but keep it all
together without neding someone to wipe my brow (Nurse!).  There are
spectators at all the good turns outside of the fence watching and we
are trying to look good "for the fans" which mainly involves making the
tires howl as loudly as possible.  I get passed my a fully raceprepped
GT3 right before we come into view of "our fans" and decide that this is
great, everyone is gonna think that I am pressuring the P-car.  Well, it
goes good until about the apex at which point the P-car puts his foot in
it and takes off and I am waaaayyy wide
and all of a sudden the ESP kicks in big-time and gives me a HUGE
helping hand.  W contimue and right before the end of the lap I find
myself gaining on a brit-bike.  I attempt to go around all smiling when
he glances back , then actually does a doubletake at the Tdi about to
pass him and then accelerates onto the front straight.  We then leave
the track and look the car over.  It is stinking to high heaven, I
thought maybe Jim B had shit his pants but no, it's just the car.  We
let it cool down and then head back to the hotel.  The next day my wife
Alli and daughter Piper arrive and Don flies back home.  Jim B stays
with us for another week of relative-visiting and then we head to Paris
with Jim B in tow.  In Paris we call Frederic, he comes over around
10pm, we take out his 3 child-seats, strap Piper's seat in and then let
Fred take us on another 5-star E-ticket ride around Paris.  My wife is
shrieking in the back seat but Piper is totally asleep in her 5-point
harness with my palm on her forehead so he neck doesn't flop around.
Jim B is videotaping in front and giggling like a schoolgirl.  Then Fred
lets me drive and I get to experience the new S6+ with 4wheel big
brakes.  I am hugely impressed but a little scared that we might run out
of oil and Fred will blame me for breaking the car ;-)  Later viewing of
the tape determines that Fred exceeds 160km/h on several occasion
through the tunnels next to the Seine.   Thanks a lot, Fred, it was
another great ride.  The next day Jim Bonnet flies home and that would
be it except that Frederic calls me a couple of days later at the hotel
and mants me to meet Norbert, the head of the French Audi Club.  I say
sure, Fred picks me up, we go to the FAC HQ (very cool) and then leave
to go to Norbert's garage.  I am stunned as we go outside and see a
SportQuattro, it is Norberts and I get to ride with him.  10 minutes
later after hitting ridiculous speeds with Frederic following and trying
to keep up, he pulls over and says it is my turn to drive.  I thought I
couldn't smile bigger until then, but now my face hurts.  Here is this
guy who has known me for 15 minutes, we can barely communicate due to
the languag barrier and he wants me to drive his Sport Quattro.  At
10pm.  It's dark.  And starting to rain.  I am scared but there is no
way I am going to forgo this opportunity.
HOLY CRAP.  This car is amazing,  SO FAST,  SO SMOOTH.  I am just in
awe.  Finally at the garage we open the door to see Norbert's car, a
twin to Frederic's S6+.  Behind it is his track car, a Lehmann engined
Audi 90 French Touring Car Championship winner from the early 90's.  He
starts it up and it is amazing too.  In back is an early urQ in pieces.
After hanging out for an hour we go to another garage and see Norbert's
other two cars, perfectly restored white 10v and 20v UrQ's.  After that
(midnight) I head back to a very angry wife but just don't care. My trip
is totally complete.
Sorry for the long read, hope you enjoyed it as much as I did the trip.
Jim K.


Airbil at aol.com wrote:

> >Jim Nixonized
> >"Those of you that know me or have entered into transactions with
> >me know I am a standup guy and not a slimeball"
>
> Which Mr Pasture questioned
>
> >"Mahoney, whatttaya think?
> >What was that you called Jim after he beat the hell out of your
> pristine s6
> >Avant on the streets of downtown Chicago in the rain?  And didn't you
> say it
> >was strange that the working girls down on Cicero seemed to know this
>
> >California boy by name?
> >Call him what you want; I can vouch that he aint no worse than Pizzo.
>
> >So Jim, what are you driving these days?  Please don't tell us it's
> an Evo."
>
> Bob,
> All I now is
> Jim did swear to live by the Ferengi Rules of Acquisition
> http://www.sjtrek.com/trek/rules/
> apparently too he knows alot about many businesses
> http://www4.gartner.com/pages/promos/35_jim_klein.gif
> and is a close personal friend of Bernie Evers and Sandy Weil.
> He has also been an off shore business consultant for Enron
> and Tyco.
> IME he makes Juan Pizzo Evo look good, dam good!
> Yours truly
> Bill -I cannot tell a lie- M
>
>
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