[s-cars] How do you tell the difference between Liberals, Conservatives, and Southerners? (NAC)

[chris chambers]

How do you tell the difference between Liberals,
Conservatives, and Southerners?

Scenario:
You're walking down a deserted street with your wife and two small
children. Suddenly, a dangerous looking man with a huge knife comes
around the corner, locks eyes with you, screams obscenities, raises the
knife, and charges.

You are carrying a Glock .40, and you are an expert shot. You have mere
seconds before he reaches you and your family. What do you do?

Liberal response:
Well, that's not enough information to answer the question! Does the
man look poor or oppressed? Have I ever done anything to him that would
inspire him to attack? Could we run away? What does my wife think? What
about the kids? Could I possibly swing the gun like a club and knock
the knife out of his hand? What does the law say about this situation?
Does the Glock have appropriate safety built into it? Why am I carrying
a loaded gun anyway, and what kind of message does this send to society
and to my children? Is it possible he'd be happy with just killing me?
Does he definitely want to kill me, or would he be content just to
wound me? If I were to grab his knees and hold on, could my family get
away while he was stabbing me? Should I call 9-1-1? Why is this street
so deserted? We need to raise taxes, have a paint and weed day and make
this a happier, healthier street that would discourage such behavior.
This is all so confusing! I need to debate this with some friends for a
few days and try to come to a consensus.

Conservative response:
BANG!

Southern response:
BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! click....
Reload...
BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! click.
Daughter: "Nice grouping, Daddy! Were those the Winchester Silver Tips?"

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