[s-cars] so fast, it doesn't move...

[Tom Mullane]

Marc,

As you know from our rather odd visit yesterday, my neighbor (affectionately
known in the area as "Whack John" is getting a divorce, and is afraid that
his wife, who is moving out this week, will take their Mazda minivan and not
return it, leaving him without transportation.  This neighbor has requested
that I step into his increasingly more messy divorce and hide said minivan
in my garage for the weekend.  

This creates a problem for me on two levels; not only do I not want to step
into this ugly battle, but I definitely do not want, under any
circumstances, a minivan in my garage.  To save face in denying his request,
I was forced to sacrifice not only the health of not one, but two formerly
road-worthy S-cars.  Extreme measures, I know, but it's a MAZDA MINIVAN, for
god's sake, and he's a cuckoo.

There.  I feel so much better having gotten that off my chest.  The guilt
was killing me.  Sorry about your car, and sorry to the list for the WOB.
Now can I have my Coupe back?

Tommy the S car slayer


Message: 12
Date: Fri, 17 Sep 2004 15:59:27 -0400
From: Marc Swanson <mswanson at sonitrol.net>
Subject: [s-cars] so fast, it doesn't move...
To: s-car-list at audifans.com
Message-ID: <1095451167.6752.326.camel at wsmis3.sonitrol.net>
Content-Type: text/plain

With apologies to Mike and the green garbage can ;)

I thought I'd share how between myself and Tom Mullane we have managed
to convert his garage into the home of not one, but TWO cars that have
reached such an immense level of tuning that they actually don't move. 
I should also mention that I now have two cars in my possession that
have reached said level of tuning nirvana.  My 4000 is a more extreme
case since not only does it not move, but it has been this way for
almost a year (time to finish up on that project, me thinks).

Anyway, back to the //S content..  My car was added to the ranks last
night when we attempted an FMIC install and turbo R&R.  I just got the
k24/T04B the night before and we had planned on doing the FMIC only but
on the spur of the moment decided to tackle the turbo at the same time. 
Things were moving along nicely (especially thanks to the lift, I _NEED_
one of these things) until I went to go swap the banjo bolts for the
water lines over to the new turbo... WTF, the banjo bolt fits INSIDE the
hole without touching any of the threads.  Not good.

I assumed this was because they perhaps had a problem with the threads
(most of the parts are likely rebuilt) and needed to tap it out one size
larger.  No problem, off to everyone's favorite race shop, Home
Cheapot.  Browsing through the bins of brass fittings we quickly
discovered that this wasn't pipe thread at all, but metric.. also not
good.

So back at the shop we discovered that an audi crank bolt threads very
nicely into the ports (!).  Thankfully Tom has cars coming out of his
ears so he lent me his Coupe Q to drive home/to work the next day (I
knew there was a reason for having 3 cars having recently sold my 90q,
especially when I manage to take 2 of them off the road at the same time
:-/).  Once I got home I set to work butchering a set of used oxygen
sensors which just happen to have the same 18mm thread and a nice big
fat chunk of metal in the core.  I hacked off the back of the sensor
from the nut back and then drilled out the center and tapped for 1/4"
pipe thread.  All I needed from that point was a set of 90 degree brass
fittings and a hose barb and I'm back in business.

Hopefully no other 'surprises' come up tonight..

I should mention Tom wins good guy of the year award for all of his help
and the use of his shop for all of this wrenching fun.

-- 
-Marc Swanson-
95.5 //S6 Avant
87 4ktq
www.mswanson.com/audi