[s-cars] You know you have been happersized when:

[chris chambers]

You know you have been happersized when:


1.	The emissions test guy starts laughing as soon as you pull onto the
rollers. 
2.	You can't drive your car in the rain. 
3.	Your 'significant other' is afraid to drive your car. 
4.	You are afraid to drive your car. 
5.	You spend more on tires than on food. 
6.	You spend more on car insurance than on house payments. 
7.	You look in a state police car and see a picture of your car taped
to the dash. 
8.	You throw your underwear in the garbage rather than the hamper. 
9.	You have to go to the track to buy gas. 
10.	Your mechanic names the new wing of his shop after you. 
11.	Bobby Labonte and Dale Jarrett wave you by. 
12.	You can make the Kessel Run in less than 12 parsecs. 
13.	You're tempted to wear your fire suit just to drive to the office. 
14.	Red signal lights shift to green as you're approaching then shift
back to red as you're receding. 
15.	You arrive somewhere before you left. 
16.	You get pulled over for doing 155 in a 35 but the cops will let you
go if "they can look under the hood." 
17.	You remove the $2000 stereo system to save 6 lb. of weight. 
18.	You are not allowed to run in the Silver State Challenge. 
19.	You get an anonymous phone call asking if you are interested in
being in the Cannonball Run. 
20.	Your face looks like you are riding a NASA centrifuge when you
drive the car. 
21.	You need parachute braking. 
22.	Your 'significant other' won't even ride in the car. 
23.	There is no possible way to "sneak out" of your neighborhood at 6
am. 
24.	Your pets scramble for their hiding spots as soon as the garage
door is opened. 
25.	Family photos throughout the house are replaced with life-sized
posters of your car. 
26.	Fuel is delivered to your home: in 55 gallon drums! 
27.	You carry earplugs in your car. 
28.	The only spot on the car which receives any regular cleaning is the
windshield. 
29.	You find out that side mirrors don't hold up at speeds exceeding
145 mph. 
30.	You spend more time on two wheels than most people spend over
55mph. 
31.	You watch the gas guage go down visibly as you cruise along the
highway. 
32.	The guys down at the informal strip won't run against you without a
10 second lead.


AUDI - Accelerates Under Demonic Influence.

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