[s-cars] You know you have been happersized when:

[TMULLANE at snet.net]

I forwarded this gem to my mother.  Her response:

"When you first started playing with your S car, I 
thought it was just great that you had a deep 
interest in a harmless hobby.  THEN I rode in it, and
thus this piece has a special meaning.  How come it 
doesn't mention that your mother would rather hang 
glide than ride to the center of town in it?"

Thanks for the laugh, Chris.

Tom



Date: Sun, 8 May 2005 20:16:39 -0700 (PDT)
From: chris chambers <fastscirocco_2000 at yahoo.com>
Subject: [s-cars] You know you have been happersized 
when:
To: Scar <s-car-list at audifans.com>
Message-ID: 
<20050509031639.85951.qmail at web60521.mail.yahoo.com>
Content-Type: text/plain; charset=us-ascii

You know you have been happersized when:


1. The emissions test guy starts laughing as soon as 
you pull onto the
rollers. 
2. You can't drive your car in the rain. 
3. Your 'significant other' is afraid to drive your 
car. 
4. You are afraid to drive your car. 
5. You spend more on tires than on food. 
6. You spend more on car insurance than on house 
payments. 
7. You look in a state police car and see a picture 
of your car taped
to the dash. 
8. You throw your underwear in the garbage rather 
than the hamper. 
9. You have to go to the track to buy gas. 
10. Your mechanic names the new wing of his shop 
after you. 
11. Bobby Labonte and Dale Jarrett wave you by. 
12. You can make the Kessel Run in less than 12 
parsecs. 
13. You're tempted to wear your fire suit just to 
drive to the office. 
14. Red signal lights shift to green as you're 
approaching then shift
back to red as you're receding. 
15. You arrive somewhere before you left. 
16. You get pulled over for doing 155 in a 35 but the 
cops will let you
go if "they can look under the hood." 
17. You remove the $2000 stereo system to save 6 lb. 
of weight. 
18. You are not allowed to run in the Silver State 
Challenge. 
19. You get an anonymous phone call asking if you are 
interested in
being in the Cannonball Run. 
20. Your face looks like you are riding a NASA 
centrifuge when you
drive the car. 
21. You need parachute braking. 
22. Your 'significant other' won't even ride in the 
car. 
23. There is no possible way to "sneak out" of your 
neighborhood at 6
am. 
24. Your pets scramble for their hiding spots as soon 
as the garage
door is opened. 
25. Family photos throughout the house are replaced 
with life-sized
posters of your car. 
26. Fuel is delivered to your home: in 55 gallon 
drums! 
27. You carry earplugs in your car. 
28. The only spot on the car which receives any 
regular cleaning is the
windshield. 
29. You find out that side mirrors don't hold up at 
speeds exceeding
145 mph. 
30. You spend more time on two wheels than most 
people spend over
55mph. 
31. You watch the gas guage go down visibly as you 
cruise along the
highway. 
32. The guys down at the informal strip won't run 
against you without a
10 second lead.


AUDI - Accelerates Under Demonic Influence.