[s-cars] Audi "Streets of Tomorrow Ride and Drive", or...

[pkrasusky at ups.com]

...or, "This Car's Been "Serge'd".  Not sure which name more described
Sat's NYC Audi event.

Me, Rossato, and Mikey Magnum Platt met Frank S. and Serge @ Belmont
Downs for what was really a *really* thinly veiled Q7 product launch I
say.  The event "pretty much" lived up to its promotion, tho if we
hadn't been 'creative' at our registration we likely wouldn't have
gotten the seat time we finagled.  2 runs in der RS4 on a timed, coned
course, then 2 runs in the A6 4.2 and 1 run in the A3 on a longer, non
timed coned course.  And about a 1/2 dozen runs back & forth from
staging to courses in the Q7.  

While I suggested we fabricate a badge to apply to the rear of a car
"This Car's Been Serge'd", we managed to not get kicked out but we did
stove our share of cones, one here, one there.  'Twas fun really.  Get
in, ESP OFF, shifter into 1st, AC off, windows open, left foot brake and
keep go pedal MASHED.  RS4 runs were the most fun despite the smaller
course.  This tho being mostly a function of the auto cars having THE
SHITTIEST TRANSMISSIONS EVER, coupled with ESP that apparently turns
itself back on when you stab the brake?  WTF?  The longer course was
much better but the cars kinda sucked on it.

The RS4?  

It was 'ok', tho I'm guessing I'd like it more on a more open road
course or out on the open road.  I got my best time of 25 and change
keeping it in 1st and bouncing the limiter nearly the entire run.
Upshifting to 2nd got me into a 28.  That was kinda funny as Bob got in
for our first run and asked the guy what the better times were so far
and what his own time was, he was high 28's - Bob proceeds to come in
cold off the street and hit a low 28 with 4 in the car giving us quite
the chuckle, then I click off a low 25.  

Problem with limiter was the horrific WAIT for the tach to dwell down
off the limiter and not being able to power out of any hole.
Ridiculous.  On my 2nd RS4 run the tool clicked ESP back ON saying we
had to and also kindly asked we not do the run @ the limiter (go
figure).  F'n ESP must cut the throttle out as powering out of hole was
rendered uselessly impossible.  LAME!  

Aside front garish front styling, I liked the controls, esp. the shifter
feel.  100% zero clutch feel, you could stall it without even knowing
you had with exception of the christmas tree lights being lit across the
dash.  Odd.  Car did what you told it to very well, great transitional
response, great intake / exhaust sound, nice lumpy burbly idle.  We
kinda all agreed that the S4 should be the A4, and Audi needs to come
out with maybe an RRS4 heh heh.

The A6 4.2 was 'ok', dynamics were great, power was acceptable, but the
f'n shitronic tranny and ESP 1,00000% destroy that car.  Come out of a
tight bend and hope to power out?  Nope.  Huge bog, hugely unacceptable
delay, ridiculous.  The smell of melted rubber and brakes as we exited
was rewarding tho.

Worse was the A3.  We were told it was a 3.2 DSG but none of us were
smart enough to confirm the badging on the back.  Sure didn't feel it.
Car does NOT want to turn, as evidenced by my plowing straight into a
cone in a 180'er.  Ooops.  Guy didn't like that too much heh heh.
Didn't knock it over I tried to tell him, just 'moved it' like 3 feet.

The Q7 seems like it will be a real nice rig.  Drives great, cool
interior, etc.  Hideous front end looks like it head on collisioned a
Mack Truck, and ended up with its nose.  Blech.  3rd row seat is barely
usable for an adult, maybe across town.  Not much foot nor head room for
my 6'.  

Got to sit in the D3 //S8, that was neat.  Saddening really, as, I'll
likely never get to have one.  Despite MB rip off badging of "V10"
across the front fender and BMW rip off "S8 V10" badging on the motor,
that car is the cat's ass.  About THE only car in Audi's line up that
new "nose" (grille) works on, the car is low enough, with a wide enough
sleek enough front end that it all ties in so nicely.  Awesome.  Tho
when showed the pop up and down tweeters on the front and rear decklids
all we could think was gee there's a few things that won't be working in
say, what, 3 years.  I'm sure "that" list is going to be a long list (of
what won't work down the road)!!!  Terrifying, if you ask me.

Got to catch up with Rod Bymaster of ASNA for a few minutes, next to the
R8 and discussing the R10 shakedown @ Sebring.  Neat.  About 1/2 dozen
frozen fruit smoothies, espresso, shee shee HOARS derves, etc. kept our
bellies full and we tried hard not to at least 'appear' TOO gluttonous.


That, and about 13 'press kits' (we took a pic of a Magnum wagonful) was
about it.  Otherwise, we saved our "Just Not Right" (JNR) behavior for
tomorrow's coming Crooklyn-Hurtz adventures, 18 cones and an Undisclosed
Location.  Lincoln LS awaits my pick up in the a.m., 10,000,000cp
charged, cameras ready, Belgians packed.

-Paul Just Not Right K.


ps.  "John Q. Normal" Mike and Bob drive nearly identically to me
(juvenile) so don't ever listen to a word THEY have to say about me.
Serge, well, you expected that.