[s-cars] How old Audis die - or - How Audi's will get even with you!

[Douglas Landaeta]

In advising a few UrS owners (relatives and neighbors, no list folk) over
the years, I've gathered a few anecdotes that illustrate why the small
things matter. I challenge the list membership to top this one:

*When your trailer hitch warps your head.*
New UrSowner: I gotta put a trailer hitch on.
Wise UrSlister: Did you get the european electrical parts to do the wiring
right?
New UrSowner: nah, I'm gonna tap into the rear lights.
Wise UrSowner: you'll get a bulb out warning light if you do that.
New UrSowner: no worries, maybe I'll pull the warning bulb, at least I'll
know why it's on.
Wise UrSowner: There is a way to do it right. I've worked with German
engineers. They don't design these systems to be tapped into for accessories
or trailers, blah, blah, blah. I'll help you get the parts, blah, blah,
blah...
New UrSowner: This'll be fine, but thanks for helping me find the right
D'alan hitch.
Many months later...
Wise Ursowner: How's that sweet Avant with the hitch working out for ya?
New UrSowner: oh, I had it towed to a shop, it overheated.
Wise UrSowner: How'd that happen, it's the dead of Winter?
New UrSowner: Well I didn't see the steam and ran it completely dry, I think
I warped the head.
Wise UrSowner: Sorry to hear that, didn't the warning light come on? Didja
change those old plastic parts I mentioned?
New UrSowner: oh yeah, well that's always on, I just ignored it.

...and there's more, since you're redoing the head, you might as well do
that overdue timing belt service. Well the shop can't get the crank bolt
off, he wants to put in a new motor. Finally it ran again, for awhile, then
spun a crank bearing (I wonder why?) and the new motor went in anyway. It
ran for about 1500 miles when the serp belt let go. oh yeah, maybe I didn't
get the longer bolt on the tensioner. I thought it looked short. Man this
car sure is costing me a lot of money and it never runs right. I put the
serp belt back on and now it won't start. I think my CPS is bad, but the
part is over $100.  and on and on, until the car is worth the few remaining
parts.

There's no known cure, unfortunately it is how some older Audis die. They
just fade away...