[s-cars] RS6

[Mike Fitton]

Wow, you guys...

How many twin turbo V8s were ever made in anything approaching mass 
production?  Let's make a list...

288 GTO ("mass" production)
F40 (same)
V8 Esprits

Ummm...that's all I can think of.  Perhaps a Mercedes or two that I 
don't know about.  Was there a BMW back in the 70s or 80s?  The point 
is, twin turbo V8s are in extremely rare company and kudos to Audi for 
putting one on the market, and hand-built by Cosworth if I'm not mistaken.

So where did all the freakin mechanics go?  DRC?  Yeah, I know how to 
fix that.  It's called Ohlins coilovers from Stasis.  $6k a pop to 
install factory-broken parts every 18 months is insane.  $2k in 
coilovers and it's just like any other suspension.

The automatic that came from a bread and butter A8?  Gentlemen, we 
already drive 3850-lb cars with sticks and little engines...what's 
another 200 lbs, especially with a big engine?  Get a CGR or whatever 
flavor of 01E you like and make it happen.  What does a dealership 
charge to r/r that box and how much is a stick conversion really going 
to cost?  How much will it cost when it actually doesn't break in 
another 100k miles?  What would a package like that be potentially worth 
to the next buyer?

Yeah, the C5 is widely regarded as the worst-handling Audi in recent 
memory.  What can I say...everyone knows that engine belongs in a D2.  
If one's so inclined, one can make that happen too.  Better yet, maybe 
an Ultima.  I'll bet one dollar that more than half of the bolts on the 
hellhousing line up with the G50's.

As for 35k engine pulls, yeah, it's a little excessive.  Guys, it's a 
halo car and you gotta pay to play.  I've had my S6 for three years and 
put right at 35k on it in that time.  Assuming that trend stays 
consistent (it won't, it's actually dropping rapidly) I'm looking at an 
engine pull every three years.  I got two words for that: worth it.  
Hand me an engine of that caliber and I'm pulling it out for service 
every three years just on general principle.  It's not a Camry and one's 
ownership will not resemble Camry ownership.  If that's what you want, 
look into the GTR.  It's never gonna break.  It'll also never depreciate 
(anyone recall mid-90s Supras?).  It'll also never manage to not get 
noticed.  Only a keen eye picks out an RS6 in motion from more than 300 
feet.

Never before has such a redonkulous package of engine, brakes, and 
suspension technology (speaking of the aluminum multilink/wishbone part, 
not the DRC part) been made available by the market for so cheap and 
there's very little engine maintenance that I know of that doesn't also 
apply to the 2.7Ts and I don't see many S4 owners complaining too much 
about that.  You buy an S4, you know going in you'll pull the engine 
every 60k.  You buy a gen3 RX7, you know the hassles you're getting into 
with the REW engine.  If the RS6 had Toyota reliability they'd still be 
$60k, unattainable (for me), and not even talking about it.  I'll 
correct some factory design flaws for that $30k difference any day, 
especially when the end result is that kind of package.

And uh...if anyone would like to buy a car sorted out as outlined above, 
you know where to reach me and my fee is $3000 plus parts.  Lead time 
will be 4-8 weeks.

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