[s-cars] I will NOT buy MORE UNDERTRAY Hardware!

[Tom Green]

I don't need any old fashioned bolts that any monkey lad can put in  
without understanding how they work.  He would probably cross-thread  
them.  However, no monkey lad is going to get the chance.

Those 1/4 turn fasteners actually are genuine Dzus fasteners covered  
under the original patent and still used to fasten aircraft panels.   
Before the clamshell engine nacelle was designed, there would be about  
100 on each engine nacelle, and the high-paid mechanics could never  
fasten them all, but I think 5 is not asking too much.

If the aircraft came in the shop with 5 or 10 bad fasteners and it  
wasn't on the work order for repair they went out the door the same  
way unless they were all on the leading edge or something else  
critical.  With only 5 metal fasteners doing the structural work,  
missing fasteners become critical very quickly.  Losing the pan on the  
highway can be as dangerous as an airplane losing a panel inflight.

Tom '95 S6
          '95.5 S6 avant
Knoxville, TN


On Tuesday November 9, 2010, at 12:52 PM, Scott J <QSHIPQ at aol.com>  
wrote:

> OK - I`m sure theres something I`m missing...  Oh yea the obvious -  
> the attachment design of the urs underbelly tray sucks!  BMW uses  
> screws. Volvo and mercedes use screws - Audi used to use screws.   
> And without fail in the last 15 years -the first response I get  
> informing a customer hardware is missing - ` I just replaced those  
> (again)!`  POS
>
> I have two v8 quattros in my driveway - both with the original pans  
> and original hardware.  The only reason why in my book?  They use  
> good old fashioned shouldered bolts to attach the tray - just like  
> the `other` guys do.  Why?  Cuz it works.  They don`t release under  
> vibration shift and sheer forces, and any monkey lad can pu them in  
> without understanding how they work.
>
> What holds the pan on are not `dzuz` fasteners (those actually might  
> work) they are turn-type fasteners that go into some easily deformed  
> receivers.  The plastic pos`s on the wheel wells crackwith heat age  
> and a half hearted bump to the front bumper.
>
> I used to stock a half dozen sets of hardware - I stopped doing that  
> years ago - cuz charging for them became a pita.  Fixing the broken  
> or missing pieces became a free service....  So I stopped and just  
> install whats there and put good 3M zip ties where the missing parts  
> were.  Fully zip-tied pans tested btw - without mentioning names -  
> fully imbedded in steamboats magnetic snowbanks....
>
> To aluminum - i work on a B5 S4 with a killer aluminum plate made  
> and sold by Armadillo Armor Systems...  Has all the cooling ducts  
> and it attaches securely with some beefy bolt type hardware.  Pricey  
> but really well made.
>
> I`m all for reinstalling the correct hardware where I find it on the  
> tray/body.  I also have absolutley no problem cutting off and  
> reinstalling good zip ties.  To those hardcore purists fighting  
> diligently to retain the original crappy Audi design?  Here`s a  
> budweiser toast to you...  Mr. Useless Audi Hardware Ordinance  
> buying guy!
>
> :)
>
> Scott J