FW: [V8] RE: intake

Fri Jul 23 07:26:36 EDT 2004

OK, I'll confess.  I work with TonyFreakinHoffman.  I'm not an idiot
(debatable, I guess, but not confirmed), nor a redneck, and I do think the
Audi V8 is a fine machine.
Anyway, Mr. Hoffman speculated that when Keith got in on this, my life may
be in danger, so I'll call it off here.  Also to those person(s) that
suggested I kill myself or buy a Saab--are you and Hoffman siblings
seperated at birth or is that an Audi thing?
About the carburetor; 3.6 liters is equal to about 0.12713 cubic feet.  I'm
sure the V-8 is not exactly 3.6 liters but for carburetor sizing, we're
close enough.  I need to fill that volume 3000 times per minute to run it to
6000 rpm.  That's approximately 381.4 cfm.  Anyone got a carb that size?
Maybe a 400 cfm?  Most meat-headed rednecks that work on cars with
carbuetors go a little big, just to make sure it's not a restriction,
anyway.  (I have a carburated car, but I consider myself neither a meathead
or a redneck.)
I was going to go to Tony's house last night and take a picture of his V8
parts car with a carburetor sitting on the intake, but I'm just lazy
sometimes and I had other things to do (I'm remodeling my house).  Besides,
the only carburetor I have is a 800 cfm Thermoquad and I'd have had to
change my story and I'm not sure too many of you here know what a Thermoquad
is.  For those that know how to tune it, it's a great piece and it's claim
to fame (infamy?) is that it has a plastic main body.  It was a
technological marvel when it came out around 1973--just like Bosch fuel
injection.  (That should get someone riled up, eh?)
Long story short, I don't currently own an Audi V8.  This plan was hatched a
couple months ago by Hoffman, myself, and a couple of other boneheads here
at work.  I've considered buying an Audi (either a V8 or 5000), but whenever
I mention it, Hoffman tells me not to--"It's a disease, and you don't want
it."  I'm going to try to talk him out of the 5000 wagon 5 speed he just
bought at auction (I have a thing about station wagons; cue the porn music),
but I think he'd rather part it.
Later,
Nadj
'67 Plymouth Fury I wagon with 440 cubic inch V8, 800 cfm carburetor, and
rear wheel drive

-----Original Message-----
From: v8-bounces at audifans.com [mailto:v8-bounces at audifans.com] On Behalf Of
DasWolfen at aol.com
Sent: Thursday, July 22, 2004 11:43 AM
To: v8 at audifans.com
Subject: Re: FW: [V8] RE: intake

 So here I sit reading this thread and trying to imagine anyone smart enough

to fabricate a carb mount on the factory intake...and be stupid enough to
not 
be able to do the simple calculations to get a correctly sized carb for 3.6 
liters.

 If I had even the slightest belief that the originator of the thread was 
more than a prankster, trying to annoy the list or get a few laughs, I'd
make the 
effort required to illustrate how moronic the entire idea is.

 Want carbs and an old style distributor...fine.... Fabricate a real carb 
setup with 4 downdraft webbers and an MSD electronic Dizzy. Would be a great

setup in a mid engined sports car or even a couple of kit cars. A 2 ton boat
like 
the V8 NEEDS efi and a correctly designed long runner intake to have any 
torque at all from 3.6 liters.

 The tread is stupid and a waste of Dan's bandwidth.

Keith