[V8] Transmission! It transmits!

[Haelo]

  I cleaned out the transmission filter (read: removed entire exhaust behind
the headers, removed and drained transmission pan, flushed filter) and set
the car back down.

   After entertaining myself with the sound of an Audi V8 with open headers
for a little while, I put it in drive. It moves maybe an inch, so I get
someone to give it a push. It rolls really, really, really easy, but doesn't
move on its own. I call this progress.

  Oh, and now it will shove so hard into reverse that it stalls. So, if this
idea fails, does anyone have a transmission removal procedure they can lend
me a glance at? We're stumped.