[V8] The Bangle-butted bungles are buggering all of us....

[Roger M. Woodbury]

I was looking at the new Mercedes "C" class that is being introduced in
Geneva now.  I liked the version that has the big Mercedes star square in
the center of the grille.  Since Mercedes in its infinite marketing wisdom
decided to make almost everything look like it came from Japan and abandoned
the traditional grille with star on top in favor of perching the star in the
middle of the hood, I have lost interest.  But I liked the nose of the "C"
class.

Liked it until I saw the ass end.  Too many lines and grooves for me,
thanks.  I confess, I like simple, straight forward lines.  

Then I looked at the new Audi A/S5.  The first image I saw was a full
profile.  It was almost ok.  Then the front quarter and I began to lose
interest.  I really don't care which car it is on, but that rounded snout
looks like a 1950's Hoover vacuum cleaner, not a car.  But still the car
didn't strike me as terrible.  It's better than the BMW 6-series coupe, I
think, but if you compare it with the BMW 3.0CSI coupe of 1972, it is just
clunky and heavy looking. Even the rather bricklike BMW 635CSI coupe of the
mid eighties is better, and that was not a particularly handsome car.

Then I saw the rear.  Both Audi and Mercedes have fallen into the
Bangle-butt theory of automotive design.  Too many lines and grooves.  Of
course, very little of it is sheetmetal, and since plastic moulding is so
easy, I guess it means that the designers can spend a little longer at the
design table than their contract requires.  Since the boss will have gone
home, those designers can light up a toke, and just draw lines and squggles
to their heart's content.  Either that or the boss is smoking too, which is
a very scary thought, but pulls what passes for modern automobile design
into a kind of, if you will pardon the expression, focus.  

Nope.  I don’t want any of them.

Then I saw something that I thought was pretty good looking and pretty
interesting.  It seems that the VW Golf is gaining a "variant" or station
wagon model.  And I think it is really good and clean looking.  The model
standing next to it in the picture could well be seven feet tall, but the
car really looks "right".  Not too many lines or crevasse...pretty clean.
Apparently the car will have the double supercharged engine as the "big"
one, and two diesels.  If VW could bring the diesel engined cars into the US
with four motion, I would get excited about this vehicle, I think.  It would
be a good fit for me as a daily driver.  

But then the article said that there were rumors that the car was going to
be brought into this country.....with a Japanese name plate.  HUH?  How does
that work?  Well, maybe we're supposed to accept that one Axis power is the
same as another?  

Yesterday I went to visit my parents and then drove to my daughters house to
show it to a prospective buyer.  Total mileage just over 110, and we took
The Black Mariah.  The temperature never rose above seven all day, although
the wind had died down, so it wasn't as frigid as the day before when the
wind never went below 20mph, and the temperature never above zero.  The
Black Mariah runs so well, it is hard to imagine driving anything else.

Right now some folks are selling a tan 100CS Quattro Avant on eBay.  The car
has 105,000 miles, and is a '93.  Supposedly two owner car, and it is in
Maine a bit more than a hundred miles from here.  I am thinking about going
to look at it as a replacement for the Black Mariah.  The car is going to be
cheap, and cost about what the Black Mariah will probably cost to go another
100,000 miles.  Naturally, I'd welcome comments.  NO, it won't be the SAME,
but as serviceable transportation, the CS is a nice car...and for cheap
dollars.  Better than spending large dollars for something that I just don't
want to drive, isn't it?

But then, I am thinking about taking The Black Mariah to the mechanic and
doing some things to it to make it go further.  The later model car is not
an improvement over the Type 44...just more "modern".  And for $5 grand the
Mariah will run and look like new.

And if I keep the Black Mariah as a daily driver, I can still watch for the
V8 that eventually will come here.  The V8 has wasn't "Bangle-butted" to
death, and still looks better than most of what passes for modern automotive
design.  And if not plentiful, at least they are cheap.

Roger

Yeah, yeah, I know.  But it is cold, frozen and not spring yet, so I am
talking about cars so I won't get surly because I am sick of winter....

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