[V8] Electrical starting gremlins

[Mike Del Tergo]

This has me pulling my hair out.  The V8 has finally stranded me, 2 weeks ago. 
Turn the ignition switch and nothing, well not quite nothing, you can hear the relays clicking.  The load reduction, the tranny relay and the relay 'near' the SEM switch in the center console.
I swapped out the standard Bosch relays to see if they were at fault, same deal.  After a number of cycles of the ig switch the relays stopped clicking.
There was no degradation of starting effort, or ig switch fumbling etc.  It always worked fine, then nothing.  Good dry weather etc.  (fun getting a car on ramps that won't start, it took me a week!)
Though only ~70K on the car I assumed the starter. All is fairly clean under there for 17 years old, I assume the starter is original.  Audi covered the starter copper ground wire with a shield so helpful but probing it and I guess it as as green as most.  Initially The wire to the starter from the ig switch showed 8V.  When I jumpered the solenoid with a solid 12V and the car started as always no drama.  I rechecked the wire from the car and this time got 12V, I figured maybe I had a bad ground on the DMM before.  Plug everything back up and the car is fine through 10 immediate cycles and then leaves me dead again 2 days later.  (car never died while running)
As I 'know' the starter/solenoid is OK I get a new ignition switch, no difference.  All the down stream electricals, as near as I can tell from Bentley, from the tranny relay all work with ig switch on, dash power, lights, etc. I tried to feed 12V to the 'out' of the auto tranny relay that Bentley shows feeding the starter solenoid and no luck.  I can't get under the car right now to run 12V directly to solenoid because of where it died.  Any BTDT?  Can this still be starter?  Any way to jumper 12V to the solenoid wire with out getting under the car, just so I can move it?
Ideas welcomed!  
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