[V8] Big news from Fiat

[Roger M. Woodbury]

My friend the European automobile journalist and spy has written to me to arrange our annual lobster and liebraumilch debauch.  One item he mentioned that is currently getting all the Euro press buzz is that next year Fiat, in the European version of their 500L will be introducing the world’s first automobile-installed espresso machine.

He said when he gets here, if I ply him with enough schnapps and liebfraumilch, he will tell me all about Volkswagen’s plans.  According to him, in order to not be outdone by Fiat, VW will install a strudel maker in all models.  He said the strudel maker will be environmentally friendly drawing power from a solar panel array integral to the standard equipment sunroof and will be installed in the place formerly occupied by the traditional glove box. 

Additionally, VW is working hard to perfect their unique bratwurst/knockwurst cooker.  The plan is to make this system available as a no-cost option for the small diesel models. The special cooker will be mounted in the large space normally occupied for the onboard map display and gps system that would be deleted.  VW is supposedly very excited about this system, because not only are the wursts cooked to perfect temperature, the fat that is a byproduct of the cooking process is routed into the fuel supply enabling the smaller diesel VWs to achieve an estimated EPA mileage rating of 93 mpgs highway, and 73 mpgs city.  This will make the small diesel VW models not only the best fuel economizing vehicles being produced, it also means that the interiors of the VW’s will be the best smelling interiors of all small vehicles, especially when compared with certain Korean vehicles that smell so much like kimchee.

When pressed he did admit that he has heard rumors that Passat and Phaeton models for European delivery will include a schnapps dispenser but for rear seat passengers only.

Roger
My friend the European automobile journalist and spy has written to me to arrange our annual lobster and liebraumilch debauch.  One item he mentioned that is currently getting all the Euro press buzz is that next year Fiat, in the European version of their 500L will be introducing the world’s first automobile-installed espresso machine.

He said when he gets here, if I ply him with enough schnapps and liebfraumilch, he will tell me all about Volkswagen’s plans.  According to him, in order to not be outdone by Fiat, VW will install a strudel maker in all models.  He said the strudel maker will be environmentally friendly drawing power from a solar panel array integral to the standard equipment sunroof and will be installed in the place formerly occupied by the traditional glove box. 

Additionally, VW is working hard to perfect their unique bratwurst/knockwurst cooker.  The plan is to make this system available as a no-cost option for the small diesel models. The special cooker will be mounted in the large space normally occupied for the onboard map display and gps system that would be deleted.  VW is supposedly very excited about this system, because not only are the wursts cooked to perfect temperature, the fat that is a byproduct of the cooking process is routed into the fuel supply enabling the smaller diesel VWs to achieve an estimated EPA mileage rating of 93 mpgs highway, and 73 mpgs city.  This will make the small diesel VW models not only the best fuel economizing vehicles being produced, it also means that the interiors of the VW’s will be the best smelling interiors of all small vehicles, especially when compared with certain Korean vehicles that smell so much like kimchee.

When pressed he did admit that he has heard rumors that Passat and Phaeton models for European delivery will include a schnapps dispenser but for rear seat passengers only.