An Audi Story

[PAUL SOUZA 202-260-6061 <SOUZA.PAUL@epamail.epa.gov>]

          Well everyone, if it hadn't of happened to me, I never would've 
          believed this:
          
          A couple of years ago, my wife (then girlfriend) and I drove down 
          to Nags Head, NC to meet a couple of friends for a long weekend 
          at the beach.   We were booked into a hotel on the beach, which 
          happened to have a nightclub in front of it.  It was off season, 
          still warm, but not crowded.
          
          After returning to our hotel after a Saturday evening involving 
          the usual resort type of activities, exhausted, We went right to 
          sleep.
          
          The next morning, my girlfriend woke up relatively early and went 
          down to my car so she could grab a book to read on the beach (she 
          let me sleep! one of the many reasons for marrying her....).  She 
          returns to the room and wakes me up and says "I didn't see 
          anything wrong with the car, but this note was under the wiper."
          Needless to say, I just through on some pants and raced out to 
          the parking lot.  I couldn't see anything wrong with the car, so 
          I read the note, which said:
              
              "I saw what happened to your car.  Please call, I'm in room    
               xxx in the hotel across the street."
          
          I again look around the car and seeing nothing, I give the guy a 
          call and he comes right down to the parking lot.  He proceeds to 
          show me a number of dents in the roof of my car!  So I ask the 
          guy if it hailed last night.  Nope.  Did somebody throw rocks 
          onto my car?  Nope.  So what the hell happened?  He tells:
          
             "I was on my 5th floor balcony last night with a couple of  
              friends around 3 am and we hear all this commotion coming out
              of the bar attached to your hotel across the street.  We 
              didn't think much of the two guys and one girl coming out of
              the bar making all that noise, but the girl was hot so we 
              watched them anyway.  What happened next really grabbed our
              attention.   They walked through the parking lot and one guy 
              takes a few steps ahead turns to the other two and yells:
          
                    1st guy:  "Is that a BMW?"
                    2nd guy:  "YEAH"
                       Girl:  giggle
              
              So the 1st guy runs ahead and jumps on the hood of a car and 
              yells again:  "Is this a BMW?"  "YEAH", they respond.  So he 
              yells:  "I F**KING HATE BMWS!!" and jumps on the top of the 
              car yelling "I F**KING HATE BMWS" over and over, the whole 
              time jumping up and down on the roof of the car.  I turn to
              my buddies and say "Umm, guys, uh, since when does BMW put 
              four rings on their grille like AUDI?"  "Never?  I thought
              so."  I run down to the parking lot to get an ID on these
              people, but only got there to see them drive off in a 
              Toyota."

          
          
          He then walked up to my car, saw the damage and left the note.  I 
          bought him breakfast, because, I had a little bit of difficulty 
          getting the police and the insurance company to believe me.  His 
          report and the "foot" size dents all over my roof removed any 
          doubt.   So, everyone, take heed, if you go to Nags Head, leave 
          the Audi at home and take the Honda....
          
          One of the women who was in our party is an engineer at NASA and 
          on the "anniversary" of this event has her computer call me and 
          say in a deep electronic voice: "Cello (my nickname), your car 
          looks like a BMW, it makes me feel like dancing!"
          
          Such friends I have.
          
          Ciao, 
          Paul
          '85 Coupe "NOTABMW"