Re: NOISY VALVES

["Barton P. Chambers" <bartonc@infi.net>]

Robert Hines, a man of wit (OK, I'm half-right here, anyway) and rare wisdom 
(*extraordinarily* rare, one notes); but seemingly utterly devoid of either a 
clue or a grip, shrieks out, and exposes his shame to us all.  Our nephew Bob 
takes pity and offews Robert a clue.  Alas, our Bob failed to note the missing 
grip, and his efforts are as fruitless as casting pearls before sw... err, 
rutabegas:

> > >WHEN COLD THE VALVE LIFTERS ON MY 91 80 QUATTRO MAKE A BIT OF NOISE 
> > >WHATS THE BEST WAY TO QUIET THEM?

> > Park the car and admire it from a distance.  :-)

> No wonder West Virginia is next to last in educational rating.  Talk
> sense or stay off the internet.
 
Take a deeeeep breath; now, let it out sloooooowly... 

There! Doesn't that feel Sooo much better..?  

OK, now watch Yer Kindly ol' Unka Bart *closely* here... hold out your right 
hand (or your left, if you're left-handed), <that's it; Good!> now curl your 
fingers in towards your palm while curling your thumb to meet your index 
finger... <Perfect...>  Good job, Robert!  Now, this is what we commonly call a 
"grip!"  

Now, if you put a little *effort* into it, you'll be able to *grasp* the "clue" 
the next time someone as erudite (and compassionate) as our learned collegue, 
Bob Myers, takes pity on you and offers you another...

We all know how ecstatically happy you'll be when that day arrives, seeing how 
desperately you need one now...

(Oh shucks, I see that our brother Scott wasted *another* before Yer Kindly ol' 
Unka Bart could come to your rescue...) (heavy sigh...)