No content, but funny

["Linkov, Jon" <jlinkov@thynx.com>]

Got this one on my desk today.  No content of any value.

SCIENTISTS DISCOVER NEW ELEMENT!!

 The heaviest element known to science was recently discovered by   
university physicists.  The element, tentatively named Administratium,   
has no protons or electrons and thus has an atomic number of 0.  However,   
it does have one neutron, 15 assisant neutrons, 70 vice assistant   
neutrons and 161 assistant vice neutrons.  This gives it an atomic number   
of 247.  These 247 particles are held together in a nucleus by a force   
that involves the continuous exchange of meson-like particles called   
morons.

Since it has no electrons, Administratium is inert.  However, it can be   
detected chemically as it impedes every reaction it comes into contact   
with.  According to the discoverers, a minute amount of Administatium   
added to a reaction caused it to take over four days to complete.   
 Without Administratium, the reaction ordinarily occurred in less than   
one second.

Administratium has a normal half-life  of approximately three years, at   
which time it does not decay but instead undergoes a reorganization in   
which assistant neutrons, vice neutrons and assistant vice neutrons   
exchange places.  Studies seems to show that the atomic number actually   
increases after each reorganization.

Research shows that Administratium occurs naturally in the atmosphere.   
 It tends to concentrate in certain locations such as government   
agencies, large corporations and universities.  It can usually be found   
in the newest, best appointed and best maintained buildings.

Scientists warn that Administratium is known to be toxic, and recommend   
plenty of fluids and three to four days of bed rest after even low levels   
of exposure