Boston Driving Rules

[Paul_Royal@idx.com]

This is list abuse to be sure...but I haven't put any hate mail out lately
either.

Rules for Driving in Boston:  (Subject to change at any time)

To obtain a general idea of Boston driving, go to a Celtics game and
watch the fast break.  But do stay right when you're driving.
-- Always look right and left before proceeding through a green light.
-- When on a one way street, stay to the right to allow oncoming
   traffic to  pass.
-- Never, ever, stop for a pedestrian unless he flings himself under
   the wheels of your car.
-- The first parking space you see will be the last parking space you
   see. Grab it.
-- Learn to swerve abruptly. Boston is the home of slalom driving,
   thanks to the Registry of Motor Vehicles, which puts potholes in key
   locations to test drivers' reflexes and keep them on their toes.
-- Never get in the way of a car that needs extensive body work.
-- Double-park in the North End of Boston, unless triple-parking is
   available.
-- Always look both ways when running a red light.
-- Honk your horn the instant the light changes.
-- Breakdown lanes are not for breaking down, but for speeding,
   especially during rush hour. Breakdown lanes may also end without
   warning causing traffic jams as people merge back in.
-- Never use directional signals when changing lanes.  They only warn
   other drivers to speed up and not let you in.
-- Making eye contact revokes your right of way.
-- Never pass on the left when you can pass on the right.
-- Whenever possible, stop in the middle of a crosswalk to ensure
   inconveniencing as many pedestrians as possible.  And if a pedestrian
   ahead of you steps into the road, speed up loudly and chase him back up
   on the curb.  Peds have no rights.

Royal