Re: Fwd: Audi hater....(dont get too mad)

["Bart Chambers" <bartonc@annap.infi.net>]

> ok guys this will piss you off....but dont get too mad...i jsut felt like 
> sending it out to some people who know better than i do about this stuff 
> so that you could help me.  This is a letter that that friend, Ross, sent 
> to my other friend...anyway...Ross is that really stubborn one and 
> apparently he dislikes Audi as seen in this letter.  So if you guys can 
> help me out here i would appreciate it...thanks

Ahhhh, for a moment there, you really had Yer Kindly Ol' Unka Bart goin'!
This is a joke, right?  You don't really have a *friend* who is this devoid of a
clue, or is so eager to disprove the old saying that it is better to remain 
silent and be thought a fool than it is to open your mouth and remove all 
doubt...?  Surely this lad is not over 12?  Or has he been living in a cave all 
his life?

Mad!  Mercy, Yer Kindly Ol' Unka Bart hasn't had such a good laugh in a while, 
and you know Yer Kindly Ol' Unka Bart is *easily* amused...

Kiddo, after this one, you gotta start doing yer own homework.  And, I might 
add, start hangin' with a higher class of clueless twits.

> >The reason only Audi was the only German contender at Paris Dakar was that
> >most German car marques are to high class to go "off-roading".  Would you
> >agree that it would be white trash to take a 911 tubro off roading, even
> >though it has all wheel drive?

I don't cotton to folks who throw trashy racist remarks around casually, but 
that aside...

Porsche has several wins in the Paris-Dakar event.  In fact, the 959, which 
everyone in the world has heard of, with the possible (neh, *probable*) 
exception of this clueless wonder, was developed from the 956, which inturn was 
the development platform for the Porsche all-wheel drive system and was the P-D 
winner.

> >Audi can do races like that because that
> >is their reputation even in Germany.  Ask your mom or cousins in
> >Deutschland about Audi's reputation there.  Who drives them?

Ask your boneheaded friend if he's ever heard of Derek Bell?  Since he probably 
hasn't, you may then tell him that old Derek is one such prominent Autobahn Audi
Driver.  You may also inform him that old Derek has won LeMans 5 or more times.
(Not in Audis, but the question was *who* drives Audis on the *Autobahn*.)

  Yeah, they
> >are good for driving in the snow, but as far as true high speed driving
> >and racing...well they just aren't there.  How many Audi's do you see on
> >the Autobahns?  Not as many as one like Mike would expect.  

"Who" has been covered.  Evaluation of the rest of this is in the realm of 
proctology and thus would requires a board certified professional.  It is 
*opinion*.  But, I am curious as to how many Mike might expect....

> >A vast
> >majority of Audi's cannot handle the high speed driving encountered on the
> >Autobahn.  No Audi engine can stand LeMans, or Sebring.  That is proven by
> >fact, not opinion.  

Good.  Ask your genius friend to quote a few of these "facts."  As opposed to 
"opinion," which is what he is giving you.  Ask your bud if he ever heard of Pro
Rally?  Or Trans-Am Racing?  Or if the Name "John Buffum" rings any bells?

> >Also, I have much more respect for a company that
> >designs its own products than one that "shares" or shall I say steal its
> >technology from other companies.  BMW is very independent.  Audi on the
> >other hand has to "share" in order to innovate.  That is not true
> >Deutscher engineering.  

Good lord man!  You really need a better informed group of friends!  And you 
need to learn to differentiate between utter BS (and *spectacularly* uninformed 
BS at that) and fact.  Guess which the above caca de vaca is.  But as to Audi 
innovations, how about the sophisticated Quattro AWD system, with its 
independently, driver- lockable center and rear differentials, or the hollow 
drive shaft to the center dif, through which the driveshaft back to the front 
wheels passes?  Or the I-5 engine.  Ask your brain-dead bud to list of few BMW 
innovations of similar magnitude.

> >And Chris what is the realtionship of PO-SHA and
> >SEAT (or COUCH if you like).  Ask Dan about the several SEAT's that we saw
> >with the "Porsche-Seat" sticker on the side skirts.

Wow!  This bozo has actually been to beautiful downtown Europe!  Well, you may 
tell him that the only relationship that SEAT (originally Spanish subsidary of 
Fiat, but now may belong to VW - I'm not sure) has to Porsche (in which the "r" 
is actually both present - unlike "Deutsche" - and *always* pronounced), beyond 
sharing a similar number of road wheels, is one of client to consultant.  

> >My list of the top Deutscher marques for Luxury (in reference to the
> >overall line of cars).

Ask your buddy where he gets the extra "r" in Deutsche.  They look nifty, I 
wanna get one myself...And thank him for sharing his *opinions*.  I will be 
sending him the cleaning bill, since he was responsible for getting my clothes 
all dirty, rolling around on the floor like that, laughing my ass off...

Around these parts, one can usually take such an opinion and, by adding $1.25, 
acquire a tasty cuppa.  In this case, however, based on his demonstrated level 
of knowledge about the automotive world, I'm afraid that one'd need to pony up 
another buck or two if you were thirsty and wanted to use his *opinions* to get 
that same cup o' joe...

Yer Kindly Ol' Unka Bart