Re: [Fwd: more humor/wasted bandwith]

[Audial@aol.com]

Ian J. Haseltine wrote:

> I guess this makes us racers then Phil...:-)

Then Phil Payne wrote:

> Hell, no.  I bitch like f*** about paying $4.30 a gallon!

And then I wrote:

Nyahhh, Nyahhh, Na Nyahh Nyahh....

Except that one of the wonderful side effects of this is that America is the
World Capital of sport-utility vehicles.  Remember those?  Those pickup
trucks with leather interiors and wood on the dashboard.  Those monsters that
weigh 4500+ lbs and get <15mpg.  That everyone wants, that practically nobody
needs.

The most recent issue of Automobile magazine, the "upscale" car rag in the
U.S., has the editor extolling the virtues of SUV's thus:

"The Republic is overpopulated with people trying to prevent other people
from enjoying themselves...the same killjoys and pecksniffs who regularly
bring us fake crises like unintended acceleration [!!!?] and Isuzu Trooper
rollovers.  We will not be joining their lemminglike conga line.  We don't
stand up before the Daytona 500 and sing about 'the land of the carefully
monitored and the home of the fearful'.  We want torque and recoil and acrid
fumes and P.J. O'Rourke with some woman's underpants on his head."  while
describing his longing for his Borla-exhausted, Antera-wheeled (take them for
a run in the woods, Davis!), Ford Expedition.

It makes me want to vomit that the intended acceleration fiasco is now being
used by the editors of Automobile to justify the existence of
sport-utility-vehicles, but I guess I'll just have to swallow it.

The objective benefits of his vehicle, BTW, are later described with more
forthcoming and candid comments:

"Like the magazine's Four Seasons (long-term) Expedition, my car [!?] is apt
to be thrown off course by bumps and uneven expansion strips, it gets blown
around by crosswinds, and it sometimes feels eerily disconnected on wet
roads.  The 5.4 liter engine, despite its thirst, doesn't tow very happily."

What then, precisely, is the point, apart from torque, recoil, women's
underpants, and the massive profits that accrue to the automakers from
selling glorified pickup trucks for $40,000?  

Oh, and yeah, gas is cheap here in the USA.  We love it.

Best Wishes,

Alex
'86 5KCSTQ
tiny, little 5cyl. engine
aerodynamic body
four wheel drive