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list humor - long joke.
This was sent to me off of the Vettenet list. Enjoy. I didn't change names
for our listmembers cause I have no idea who fits into the categories (plus,
I ain't stupid either!)
----------
From: Roc
To: valiumnj
Cc: linkovj
Subject: [Fwd: [All] humor, check list -enjoy]
Date: Monday, November 10, 1997 7:34PM
This was received from the autox Team.Net list. Some of the names and
references could be changed to apply to *any* group. Enjoy the light
hearted intent :-)
I wrote this for the RX-7 mailing list. Thought you all might enjoy
it, or maybe it would be applicable to other mailing lists to which
you belong. This lit is much much better. Almost all content, and
almost no flames.
RX-7 Mailing List
Posting Form
I am posting for the purpose of:
[ ] Rehashing a topic that was beaten to death two months ago
[ ] Bragging about the size of my package
[ ] Dispersing non-RX-7 content
[ ] Demonstrating a lack of knowledge of punctuation or grammar
(also known as showing I am a super-deaf!!!!!!!,
cold-chillin'!!!!!, super-slamming!!!!! bad-@ss m****
f*****!!!!!?????!!!!!!)
[ ] PROVING MY "CAPS LOCK" KEY IS STUCK, AND MY "!" KEY
REPEATS!!!!!!!
[ ] Showing I can't read an FAQ
[ ] Inciting every single other list member to send a "me too"
message
[ ] Selling overpriced used parts
[ ] Advertising stuff my RX-7 business is selling, despite the
fact that it against list policy
[ ] Demonstrating that I don't know the difference between a
G-Tech and a G-spot (or how to use either)
[ ] Demonstrating that I just got email capability, and boy is it
cool! (or kewl or kewel or whatever)
[ ] Sending a joke that's been around forever
[ ] Complaining about someone else's waste of bandwidth or lack
of RX-7
content while contributing nothing myself
The subject is:
[ ] Virus (hoax)
[ ] Virus (probably hoax)
[ ] Non-automotive joke
[ ] Favorite song to which to wank
[ ] Those kooky, nutty Brady Bunch kids!
[ ] Incorrectly identified on the subject line
[ ] Not related to the body of the message
[ ] I refuse to use the [1] [2] [3] convention
[ ] How much is my car worth?
[ ] Those really swell Miller Lite commercials by Dick
[N/A] RX-7 related
[ ] What's a subject?
[ ] Covered in an FAQ
[ ] Re: Digest #___
I am (check all that apply):
[ ] An athiest
[ ] A democrat
[ ] A libertarian
[ ] A republican
[ ] Not registered to vote
[ ] A sixth grade graduate
[ ] Contemplating learning how to spell
[ ] Paying too much for insurance for my car
[ ] Unconcerned that the US government spends more
in an hour than I will make in my lifetime
[ ] Using this list as a forum for furthering my
cause or beliefs
[ ] Other______________
(Contributed by Felix Miata)
The large Kanji character painted on my hood means:
[ ] Feel the power in my victory (from an actual ad
in Sport Compact Car)
[ ] My genitals swell with pride at the machoness
of my car
[ ] Bite the wax tadpole
(No offense to any of our Asian listeners out there.
Check out the "Rice Boy" Web site. An Asian guy
created it to make fun of the guys who do all of the
"looks" mods to their cars but have no idea how to
make a car perform.)
I spanked a:
[ ] Mustang [ ] Corvette [ ] Trans Am [ ] 300Z
[ ] Camaro [ ] Porsche [ ] '73 Pinto [ ] Viper
[ ] NSX [ ] Myself [ ] Other _____________
by: [ ] 1 car length [ ] 2 car lengths [ ] 3+ car
lengths
My car is faster than:
[ ] Jim LaBreck [ ] Brooks Weisblat [ ] Carlos Iglesias
[ ] Trev's [ ] Kevin's [ ] Adam's
(contributed by Carl Houseman)
My car gets the following miles to the gallon:
[ ] 0 - 5
[ ] 6 - 10
[ ] 11 - 15
[ ] 16 - 20
[ ] 20+
My car has the following miles on the clock:
[ ] 0 - 10,000
[ ] 10,001 - 50,000
[ ] 50,001 - 100,000
[ ] 100,001+
I got a speeding ticket for:
[ ] 10 over
[ ] 20 over
[ ] 30 over
[ ] I am posting from a jail cell
My favorite nickname for a Mustang is:
[ ] Rustang [ ] Mufftang
[ ] Mustank [ ] Other _________
I named my:
[ ] Car [ ] Right hand
[ ] Unit [ ] Tools
My car's color is:
[ ] White [ ] Black [ ] Grey [ ] Blue
[ ] Yellow [ ] Red [ ] Several of the above
[ ] All of the above [ ] Other _____________
[ ] an important determinant of how quickly my car can do the 1/4
mile
(Felix Miata contributed this one)
I would like to take your time to flame:
[ ] Kevin [ ] John [ ] Tuck
[ ] Robert Eaton [ ] Jim LaBreck
[ ] Other _____________
(Insert standard flame here. Non-standard flames are not
acceptable.)
[X] My computer will not send mail containing flames
directly to the individual; only to the list
The new RX-7 will be (choose one from each column):
[ ] a '98 [ ] based on the RX-01 [ ] I have nosolid info
[ ] a '99 [ ] a re-intro of the 3rd gen but will postanyway
[ ] a '00 [ ] a rotary Miata
My favorite song to which to, uh, ahem, ummm, drive is:
[ ] Anything by Vanilla Ice
[ ] By an artist that is so cool I am sure you have
not heard of him/her
[ ] I Touch Myself, by the DiVinyls
My stereo:
[ ] Can be heard by cars 1/3 mile in front of or behind me
[ ] Requires several extra alternators on my engine
[ ] Goes to eleven
(some contributed by Felix Miata)
I am including:
[ ] Forwarded text not marked with the ">" convention to
designate included text
[ ] The entire post to which I am replying, including
non-relevant content
[ ] The entire digest version of the day's mailings
[ ] The contents of my disk drive
[ ] The contents of our LAN file server
[ ] An archive of the entire Internet
It will be in the following format:
[ ] HTML for those who do not have mail readers capable of it
[ ] One copy each of the same message in Text and HTML
[ ] uuencoded
[ ] Audio, video, and other non-text formats
[ ] All of the above, with a few GIFs and JPEGs for good measure
Adam is:
[ ] A farmer [ ] A rich boy [ ] A jagoff
[ ] Spoiled [ ] Given an allowance [ ] All of the above
Subscription:
[ ] How do I unsubscribe
[ ] Help! How do I unsubscribe
[ ] How go I get off this list
[ ] I didn't save the first message I received telling me how to
unsubscribe, even though it said to save it
[ ] I didn't read the message at the bottom of each posting I
receive that tells me where to send administrative requests
[ ] Extra copies of how to subscribe/unsubscribe to the list
My tires have been on my car:
[ ] under 10,000 miles
[ ] 10,000 - 20,000 miles
[ ] 20,001 - 30,000 miles
[ ] 30,001 - 40,000 miles
[ ] 40,001 - 50,000 miles
[ ] over 50,000 miles
[ ] I don't know
Microsoft:
[ ] Sucks
[ ] Does not
[ ] Does too
[ ] Does not
My exhaust tip is:
[ ] The size of a manhole cover
[ ] Bigger than yours
[ ] Is not
[ ] Is too
[ ] Is not
[ ] Mine has two tips!
Me too!!!!:
[ ] I love Boy George too!!!!
[ ] I can't drive 55 either!!!!
[ ] I hate Mustangs, too!!!!!
[ ] I want to say piss-tons, too!!!
[ ] I don't want to add useful information or
discussion to this list either!!!
Miscellaneous:
[ ] Nitto tires [ ] Nology wires [ ] Slick 50
[ ] Snake oil [ ] Me too!!!!
[ ] How much is a new engine
About This Checklist (must choose one):
[ ] This checklist doesn't apply to me (and I am including
it in its entirety to prove it)
[ ] This checklist offends me (but doesn't apply to me)
[ ] I was touching myself while I surfed the 'net for nudie
pictures and found this form by mistake
Signature:
[ ] HTML for those who do not have email readers capable of it
[ ] Much bigger than my actual post (not counting the entire
digest which I included)
[ ] An audio file
[ ] Racist, sexist, or offensive to certain religions
[ ] The entire bill of materials required to build an RX-7
down to the smallest nuts and bolts
_____________________
Guidlines for posting:
o Please discontinue the posting of original content.
o Only submit via this form.
o Please include this checklist in its entirety. Do not
delete non-relevant portions.
o List members must submit this form at least four times
per day. Do not change responses from post to post.
o All responses will be tallied, analyzed, and collated,
but no useful statistics will be given. Instead, all posts
will be forwarded in their entirety to each member of the
list.