'82 VW Quantum wagon story, long but funny

[BRNTVILET <BRNTVILET@aol.com>]

To Mike, who wanted to hear the story , and to the rest of you who want to
read it..



 First of all some background info on the car:  I bought it from my cousin's
girlfriend for $600 bucks because she needed the money and I needed the
wheels.  Her older brother owned it before her and some guy in Philly before
him.  It had been side swiped on both sides taking one mirror.  The rust from
that accident went well with it's tan/brown color.
 Most of it's options didn't work, but that was ok, because they had been
wired with toggle switches.  Kinda reminded you of Has's beloved spacecraft.
It had 182+ miles on it already and that little 1.6 had seen better days.  But
it still went and because it was my first car... well you all remember the
love affair with your first car.
  I could go on forever, but  I'll cut to the real story (of many):

   My friend and I were bored and had just watched a video he had of some
rally.  These are the finest of ingriedents for a tell-your-grandchildren-
story.  2 bored 17 year-olds, one beat VW, a rainy day, the visions of audi's
powersliding through the forest at mach 1.

  Well, about a mile from his house is a big strip mine that hasn't been used
for ages, but some of the roads are still there.  We decide to go and 'just
take a look'.  The roads are a bit muddy, so we putz around for a while
spinning the tires(the car was a 5-speed) and sliding a bit.  Then we saw it,
the figure eight that 4x4's had devised...

  We had been mountain biking up there before, but never thought about it for
a car until now!  It was probably about a quarter mile long total.  It looked
like most of the roads around it, but had a few more puddles.  With a glance
we nervously laughed, and instantly filled with adreniline, becaues we knew
that we could get hung up and that would be very bad.

  Turning around, we got a run for it and found that it was, very, very, very
muddy.  In one quick motion I turned on the wipers, and shifted down to 3nd.
We were going about 40, I'm not sure I was looking at the puddle in front of
us.  What we thought was only slightly deep was in fact much, much deper.  It
was either hit it at full speed or get stuck in it, so boom!  It was about 25
feet long and well over the bumper!  You've see those classic rally shots of
mud and water, in a fantastic waterfall effect, splash down over the hood and
windshield of the car?  Well from inside it was picture perfect!  While that
was all well and good, the little puddle turend out to be huge tire ruts, the
sound from underneath left me wondering if I had anything left to call a
muffler.
  But we couldn't stop because the mud was too think to stop in, so down shift
into second and spin on through.  We head into the first turn and we are
screaming at the top of our lungs,  WOO-HOO!  That is when we heard the KA-
CHUNK (or roughly the like)  and I felt something pull on the steering wheel.
It was muddy so when I turned the wheel, it really didn't do anything and I'm
like, "Poop, (not actual word used) I just ripped off the tie-rod!"  Right
then the wheel caught on another rock and this one sent us into the
surrounding weeds, which by the way, were about 6 or 7 feet tall.  
  The ground was drier, so we got a little more traction, and I realized that
I had steering after all.  I look at the speedo and pull back out on the trail
at 25 or so. Right about then I was really wanting to quit, because this was
my only car, not some rally car that I can trash and then drive home in my
other car.  But, we had to get, so we keep on slopping through the mud.  We
are now on the straight and see the series of puddles that aren't ruts, but
more like trenches.  WHAM!!  WHAM!!  WHAM!! They are gigantic speedbumps, and
I am using my oilpan as a skidplate, not good.  My friend, whose car it ISN'T,
is laughing and having a merry time.
  Then we see the opening through the weeds.  Remember, we can't see any of
the trial except what is in front of us because these weeds are so high.  I
think about seeing what is in the turn that we haven't been on, but decide to
get the heck out while we could.  The only problem, the lake of death.  I
yell, "HOLD ON!!"  Now while I could have probably gone around it, and saved
my car, the idiot/funlover in me slams into the ruts again.  Again the
water/mud spray, but this time, no scrape, just a loud thump and the entire
car is off the ground for about a millisecond, front first, then back.  Then
the scrape .  It seems that the ruts get deeper at the end, causing my car to
use the spoiler/air dam as a shovel and then the floorpan as a a means of
lifting the car up and over.
  We make it and head back to pavement to asess damage. 
  We laugh as we get out, mud falling from the doorseals,  clumps of mud on
the hood, roof, and mirror.  First off, the airdam.  It was imbedded with mud
and looked like it had been hit by a sledgehammer, but it was still intact.
Second, the oilpan, muddy and scraped, a few more dents, but intact.  This is
when we notice the things hanging from the underside, it seems tha t rock that
we hit had sheared off the horns, and the rest of the journey finished them
off.  I tried the horn and got  dead silence.
  As for the muffler and related parts, they were fine!  The pipe fit up
inside a groove meant for it and the muffler hung about the rear axle, saving
it from any harm!  We pulled the horns off and wiped off the rest of the
windows, it was his turn of course...


Hope you enjoyed, I have few pictures of this car, but he ones I have were
taken after this excursion.  I sold the car for $175 after I jumped it on a
section of road in my town.  The hill goes down, then is flat, then goes down
again.  At anything over 30 your back end will leave the ground.  At 40 you
will get air, with big landing.  At 65, (I got a run for it...)  you fly and
land with sparks like the Fourth of July.  And rip your oil pan off, and break
the bolts off of your front strut mounts, blow out both of your ball-joints,
almost give yourself a concussion, break off two lugnut studs and really tick
your parents off. 
  Hey, what could they say?  I bought it and paid the insurance on it.

Hope you enjoyed!
Mike