Mall of America vs. West Edmonton Mall

[James Desveaux <desveaux@ucla.edu>]

I'm never been to the Mall of America, though I've visited rural Minnesota a
number of times in the winter.  I even entered an ice-fishing contest where
the local high school band marched onto the lake to play the star-spangled
banner.  By that point, half the fisherfolk were already so greased
confusing coke cans full of Canadian Club (they kept the bottles hidden
inside their 4X4s parked elsewhere on the lake, so the kids wouldn't be
influenced), that most of the lines were already frozen to attention in the
water by the conclusion of the anthem.

However, and this is the point, I did live and teach in Edmonton Alberta for
a few months in the mid-80s, while finishing grad school at
Bellevue-by-the-Bay (Berkeley).  Alberta bar songs have the right lyrics for
the climate, and the Amazing Germazians (sp?), the Iranian Jewish family of
carpet merchants that built both the west edmonton mall and subsequently the
Mall of America knew an idea whose time was ripe.  If you're from a place
where they suck on pomegranants (sp?) and chew on pistachios on a regular
basis, there's a strong incentive to escape from nature where's it's 40
below.  Having said that, those places are incredibly camp, and they can be
oppressive after a few visits.  In Edmonton, they had chartered flights for
people to spend a few days at the Mall and shop 'til they dropped.  The
hotel at the Mall had 6 different types of 'theme' rooms, and maybe they
still do.

The Mall of America is an appropriate venue for the Coen Brothers' next
flicker on their homeland.  Maybe it will be called 'Bloomington."  (isn't
that where the mall is located?)

So, Phil, on the flight over, close your eyes and imagine yourself as one of
the fortunate shoppers on a charter to paradise.  (Or one of those on the
'Gambler's Special' charter between SF and Reno.

- Jim