"ABS off" appears, + Joke

["Doyt W. Echelberger" <Doyt@NWOhio.com>]

I have been trying to get the ABS working on my 87 5kcstq, and can't even
get a mechanic to schedule time to troubleshoot it. Phil and Kurt have made
suggestions that I tried.Checked the fuse, relay, and if the mechanic used
ablative caps to install the sensors (yes).

When I start the car, no warning lights appear on the dash. When I run up
to road speed and put on the brakes, the car dives slightly to the right
and almost simultaneously the antilock braking system cuts out and the
notice appears on the dash: "Antilock braking system off."

The right dive only lasts a part of a second, followed by even braking.
Feels like the left front brake isn't engaging in sync with the others.

If I start the car the ABS light shows no warning. If I then apply steady
pressure to the brake pedal before moving, the pedal starts down, hardens,
collapses gently by about a half inch, and firms up again. This does not
trigger the "ABS off"  event. The car must be moving to trigger the event.

Unable to ignore this condition, or get it fixed, I have turned to humor to
reduce my stress:

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
SIGNS OF STRESS
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

1. Relatives that have been dead for years come visit you and suggest that
you should get some rest.
2. You can achieve a "runner's high" just by sitting up.
3. Trees begin chasing you.
4. You can see individual air molecules vibrating.
5. You begin to explore the possibility of setting up an I.V. drip solution
of espresso.
6. You wonder if brewing is really a necessary step for the consumption of
coffee.
7. You and Reality file for a divorce.
8. It appears that people are speaking to you in binary code.
9. Antacid tablets become your sole source of nutrition.
10. You begin to talk to yourself, then disagree about the subject, get into
a nasty row about it, lose, and refuse to speak to yourself for the rest of
the night.

I am continuing to drive the car, and have lived with the ABS problem for
several weeks. My best bet is that it will go away without further
attention, or my mechanic will find time to look at it.  Or, possibly a
lister will offer another path to salvation.

Doyt Echelberger
86 4kq
87 5kcstq  without ABS