Re: 4kcsq skid plate

[Richard Beels <beels@technologist.com>]

It's actually the non-pithy way to say: "stock".  

It's a puker so I can't insert the:  QLCCv5.01b chip pulling 2.8 bar in the
cool humid night-time air through my nifty K&N (and L-M-N-O-P too) air
filter; Dynoflow PowerMax Ram-Air Ceramicized ported Intake Kit; decked,
shaved and ported head with super-secret triple-beveled valve grinds; Audi
Sport (don't ask me where I got them or I'll have to kill you) racing
valves (OK, I stole them from Bintcliffe, along with his T*rsen); Fuel
Injectors that squirt harder and faster (and with more volume) than any man
under the age of 50; gold-ceramicized piston heads with special turbo-flow
underside oil squirters; Firing Squad super shot-peening on all rods;
Hydra-Flow water-injection ignition cooling system (with "optional"
anti-detonation timing advance mod kit); Garrett Ultra-HiMax Pressure K3500
Turbo (scavenged from a diesel) ; ALS bummed off a dejected Carlos Sainz
after he crashed in Finland. I gave him a ride back to service, can't wait
to install it; Lancia SuperSpool SuperCharger (found one in an old Stratos)
with custom fabricated electric motor - no belts! no parasitic drain!
unfortunately, no power; Super-Slick Tribolytic cylinder wall honing
inserts; Super HiTec-Nology wires (6 gauge) feeding Double-Secret Probation
Bosch Quintipple Unobtanium spark plugs (with the 24V ZuperZapper auxiliary
coil) fed by some old Sears Die-Hard battery I picked up on sale oh, about
10 years ago; stock alternator with custom, handmade 12.47mm pulley and 12
extra spike-suppressing Never Say Diodes; Cherry-Red Exhaust Headers (so I
can't see the difference); Let's Get Ready to Ruuuummmmmble Glass Plugged
4" straight-back Pseudo-SoundSuppressor (who needs a kitty cat these days);
Presidentially-endorsed Mr. Stiffie strut braces; even more
Presidentially-endorsed Ultra Stiffie Triple-Secret Probation
Bilstein/Eibach Purple & Gold lowering Coilover Kit with the "El Rico"
optional ass-end hop kit (16" of hop, baby!); bump stops, hey WHAT bump
stops, we don't need no stinking bump stops!; 17" Total Terminator Wheels
with the really rad spinner thingies clad in Michelin AutoPilot MMXXXXXXXs
so soft and sticky it would make a Monica proud (500 mile warranty); Light
Bar featuring 6 Hella Rallye 5000 (real, not those fake Kmart "blue-light"
special) HID lamps with the equivalent to 180W bulbs, the better to flash
the people going slow through the school zones (2 driving, 2 pencil, 2
cornering); Euro-upgrade kit also (hey, what the hell); 9 burned-out switch
bulbs; heater/vent flaps are broken; thinking about a Nitrous kit.   Color
is Primer with Krylon spray-on racing stripes kit.  Runs on Toulene,
Heptane and Xylene (134 M+R/2 octanes) with just a squirt of Marvel Mystery
Oil to keep those injectors happy; no oil (Hell boy, that's why I got a
ProLong sticker on the car) but I do sometimes run with water instead (Good
for when those crappy cork gaskets keep self-destructing); Octo-syn special
hydraulic fluid; no gear oil (Hey, TWO ProLong stickers).  Sitting by the
phone waiting for European Car to call while I work on the 1/10 scale model
racer of the car.  Custom-molded carrying case in the trunk, fitted
with.....  <g>


At 01:13 AM 8/21/1998 ,  MHLIGGINS@aol.com was inspired to say:
>  <<88 90Q - <insert pithy witticism here>>>
>  
>  	You mean like, "Pithed off 'cause it's slow." ??  Or did you have
something
>  else in mind?
>  
>  	Bucksnortally yours,
>  	
>  	--ml

Cheers,
	Richard
	88 90Q - K+N (see, it's starting....)
	88 Golf GTi - PRO Rally