What does your car say? (Low Q Content)

[Peter_Szalay@amat.com]

sorry to waste BW but I though you might all enjoy this . . . I did not
write these, no flames if your favourite car is made fun of ;-)

Peter

HOW TO JUDGE YOUR FRIENDS AND WHAT PEOPLE ARE REALLY SAYING ABOUT THE CARS
THEY DRIVE ...

Acura Integra:  I have always wanted to own the Buick of sports cars
Acura Legend: I'm too bland for German cars
Acura NSX: I am impotent
Audi 90: I enjoy putting out engine fires
BMW 3-series: I wish I were important
BMW 5-series: I'm not important, but at least I got a raise
BMW 7-series: I'm still not important, but I've perfected the art of living
beyond my means
Buick Riviera: I like to make a statement by driving an ugly car, and the
Toyota Supra is too small
Buick Park Avenue: I am older than 34 of the 50 states
Cadillac Eldorado: I am a very good Mary Kay salesman
Cadillac Seville: I am a pimp
Cadillac- All Others: A Buick Park Avenue is too young and sporty for me.
Chevrolet Camaro: I enjoy beating the hell out of people
Chevrolet Chevette: I like people's reactions when I tell them I have a
'vette
Chevrolet Corvette: I'm in a mid-life crisis
Chevrolet El Camino: I am leading a militia to overthrow the government
Chrysler Caravan: It's kinda sporty with those child-seats, don't you
think?  Please say yes
Chrysler Cordoba: I dig the rich Corinthian leather
Chrysler LHS: I want a car big enough to be seen by the Sojourner
spacecraft a Buick Park Avenue
Datsun 280Z: I have a kilo of cocaine in my wheel well
Dodge Dart: I teach third grade special education and I voted for
Eisenhower
Dodge Daytona: I delivered pizza for four years to get this car
Dodge Stealth: I'm having a mid-life crisis, but I couldn't afford a
Corvette
Ford Explorer: It IS NOT a station wagon . . . it's a sport-ute
Ford Fairmont: -(See Dodge Dart)
Ford Mustang: I slow down to 85 in school zones
Ford Crown Victoria: I enjoy having people slow to 55mph and change lanes
when I pull up behind them
Geo Storm: I will start the 11th grade in the fall
Geo Tracker: I will start the 12th grade in the fall
Honda del Sol: I have always said, half a convertible is better than no
convertible at all.
Honda Civic: I have just graduated and have no credit
Honda Accord: I lack any originality and am basically a lemming
Infiniti Q45: I am a physician with 17 malpractice suits pending
Isuzu Impulse: I do not give a damn about J.D. Power or his reports
Jaguar  XJ6: I am so rich I will pay 60K for a car that is in the shop 280
days per year
Jeep Cherokee: It is NOT a yuppie station wagon
Kia Sephia: I learned nothing from the failure of Daihatsu Corp
Lexus 300/400: I'm a contra-snob: I don't mind spending $50,000 on a car
with a $20,000 design
Lincoln Towncar: I live for bingo and covered dish suppers
Lincoln Navigator: I own lots of Exxon Stock
Mercury Grand Marquis: -(see Towncar)
Mercedes SLK Convertible: I Why yes, my name is Buffy... how did you know?
Mercedes 500SEL: I will beat you up if you ask me for an autograph
Mercedes 560SEL: I have a daughter named Bitsy and a son named Cole
Mazda Miata: I do not fear being decapitated by an eighteen-wheeler
MGB: I am dating a mechanic
Mitsubishi Diamante:I don't know what it means either
Nissan 300ZX: I have yet to complete my divorce proceedings
Nissan Maxima: My 3rd wife made me sell the 300ZX
Nissan Sentra GLE: The JokeMaster talked me into it
Oldsmobile Cutlass: I just stole this car and I'm going to make a fortune
off  the parts
Peugeot 505 Diesel: I am on the EPA's Ten Most Wanted List
Plymouth Neon: I sincerely enjoy doing the Macarena
Pontiac Trans Am: I have a switchblade in my sock
Porsche 911 Turbo: I have a three inch thingie
Porsche 944: I am dating big-breasted women that otherwise would be
inaccessible to me
Rolls Royce Silver Shadow: I think Pat Buchanan is a tad bit too liberal
Saturn SC2: -(See Honda Civic)
Subaru Legacy: I have always wanted a Japanese car even more inferior than
the Isuzu
Toyota Camry: I am in the closet
Toyota Supra: I like driving a car that looks like a mutant fish
Volkswagon Beetle: I still watch Partridge Family reruns
Volkswagon Cabriolet: I am out of the closet
Volkswagon Microbus: I have been tripping continuously since 1968
Volvo 740 Wagon: I am frightened of my wife