My Quattro Weekend (long)

[Bill Elliott <wcelliot@concentric.net>]

As some of you may remember, I have been passively shopping for a 4KQ
for my 15-yr-old as his first car.  Several months ago, I picked up a
cheap '84 (needing a fuel pump, brakes, some minor rust repair and
paint.)  I was still unsure whether I should consider this as a
restoration project or as a parts car (but leaning towards the latter).

About 3 weeks ago, a Q-lister in DC (Bryan Carter) advertised an '86 for
sale.  Graphite metallic (matching my '85 UrQ) and black leather
interior.  The car had been sitting for a few months (Bryan has several
interesting cars...including a pristine X1/9 which I absolutely don't
need but can't get out of my mind...) so I had the car taken to an Audi
mechanic for a once over.  He gave it a clean bill of health except for
some bushings, rear tie rod ends, and a leaking fuel line... all of
which Bryan fixed for me. I bought it sight unseen.

I was in DC for business last week.. so I was able to stop by and
examine it for myself.  (Bryan was very good about the deal... several
times offered to let me back out of the deal with no questions asked.)
It was as described... original paint (with a few dings here and there)
and a decent black leather interior (showing some wear). All-in-all
pretty decent for a 115k car.

The test drive was great... but we both noticed a bit of noise from the
exhaust system.  A quick check showed some rust on the pipe in front of
the cat, but nothing seemed too serious.  I decided to drive the car
home to WI. (about 925 miles.)

The trip started uneventfully.  The car ran better and better as I went
along.  I even treated it to a car wash when I stopped to refuel.
However, it also seemed to be getting louder... an ominous sign...

About 200 miles into the trip, I stopped for dinner at that fine Irish
restaurant McDonalds.  You know, the kind with big speed bumps in the
parking lot?  The entire exhaust system came off the car! (So much for
the pre-inspection and my "quick check" after the test drive!)  A coat
hanger later, the exhaust wasn't dragging, but was still very loud. Open
muffler shops are rare at 6pm on a Friday night.

I found a "going out of business" auto parts store where I bought a
couple of exhaust clamps, a cheap tool set and some "exhaust wrap"... a
technical term to describe the complete and utter waste of money buying
a product which you already know won't work worth a damn... but you
don't have a lot of better options.  (They didn't have exhaust adapters
and the like.)

I used the wire to pull the broken ends as close together as possible
and then used a wrench as a splint clamped to each end.  Over this went
the exhaust wrap. I was back on the road by 7:30.  By 7:35 the exhaust
was almost as loud as before, but nothing was dragging.  75 mph in an 86
4KQ is about 3300 rpm, so the sound level in the car approached that of
a Rob Zombie concert (but was less painful due to the lack of lyrics).

The remaining 725 miles were interesting if rather noisy.  Sprints from
toll booths sounded like a pro-stocker.  People were stunned to hear an
Audi sound like a purple low-rider Toyota ;-o .  I did get a couple of
"thumbs up" cruising through Chicago though.

I made it home in one piece (with a slight headache).  The little car
used no oil and got 25 mpg.  I'm very happy with the purchase (and will
be even happier once I fix the exhaust properly!)

A few quick questions on stuff that doesn't work.  I'll check the
archives, but any up-front hints would be appreciated:

Cruise control doesn't work and the computer screen is dark (no clock,
etc.) Fuses are all fine.  A quick scan of the Bentley leads me to
believe the failures could be related.  Any obvious things to look
for?... or troubleshoot each independently?

The front passenger door will not open from either side.  What's the
easiest way to get it open for door handle/latch repair?

Best procedure/product for re-dying black leather?

Lastly... I now consider my '84 4KQ a parts car.  Anyone interested in
the whole thing for $500 or so? (Very nice cloth interior and all
doors/windows/sunroof work.)  I really don't want to spend the time
parting it out individually, but I may.

Bill Elliott
Lake Mills, WI