Re: A4 yuppie scum in Boston

[Luke Sponholz <LSponhol@LGA-INC.COM>]

I usually keep my mouth shut on these issues, but things like this strike
too much of a chord with me to allow me to remain completely silent.  Thus,
allow me to pontificate:

The attitude expressed in this message is exactly the kind of attitude that
I believe has landed this country in this whole ridiculous "road rage" mess.
Only in the United States of America would someone suggest that once they
have hit a speed that is acceptable to them, and in accordance with what
they think is reasonable, it is perfectly legitimate for them to remain in
the left lane.

Now, one might say:  "Well, he was passing cars.  Thus it is altogether too
possible that the right lane may not have been available to move out of the
way of the 1.8T."  Allow me to quote:

"He sticks around for a bit, not going around into the rightmost line or
anything..."

So there's room in the right lane!

Keep Right Except To Pass.  In Germany, if you are moving slow in the left
lane, or if you are moving fast, yet not as fast as those that are coming up
behind you, it is a mortal sin to remain in the left lane.  1)  The Germans
will not pass on the right, since this is mortal sin #2  and 2)  The Germans
will immediately recognize you as an idiot American driver.  In all the time
I have spent in Germany, the only person I saw over there that did not
maintain lane discipline was a minivan.  Do Germans drive minivans?  I tend
to think there were overwhelmingly good odds that this vehicle was piloted
by an American.

In my mind, according to the rules of the road that used to prevail in the
United States, and the rules of the road that prevail in Germany (thus
contributing to the fact that their fatality rate is similar to ours, even
given the higher level of congestion and far higher speeds), there are only
ONE reason why you should remain in the left lane if you notice a vehicle
approaching from the rear (and this requires that you actually notice this
vehicle, which requires that you check your rear view mirror.  If you don't
do this, I suggest you start today):

-  There is NO way to get over to the right.  This means that the right lane
is completely blocked with traffic.  I should point out that, since you're
in the left lane, you had best be passing folks, or this reason is not
applicable any more.  

Refer to my original statement:  Keep Right Except to Pass.

I have to admit that the techniques of the A4 1.8T driver in question here
leave a little bit to be desired.  The policy I follow when approaching a
slow moving vehicle in the left lane when the right lane is clear (and yes,
slow moving may very well be 75-80MPH given the weather and road conditions)
is as follows:

1)  Don't tailgate!
2)  Activate left turn signal while approaching.
(This usually does not work)
If not:
3)  Briefly tap lights to indicate that I wish to pass.
(This usually is counterproductive, but look, I'm standing on principle)  If
there is one thing that is most infuriating about american drivers is that
they think that having someone flashing lights at them is an affront, a
reason to get mad!  What is wrong with these people!  It is a kind request
to move out of the way.  It is a driver giving them the benefit of the doubt
that they hadn't checked the rear view mirror recently and moved out of the
way without any coaxing required.  But no, they find it be an affront.  I
actually had someone point for me to pass them on the right when the right
lane was wide open after I flashed my lights.  Idiots!  (Pardon me for that
rant)
If step 3 fails, approach the rear bumper in exasperation.
4)  Tailgate, and flash again.

The following four steps should take no longer than 10 seconds.  If they
take longer than 10 seconds, there is only one option:  Pass on the right.
If you do not, you will remain behind that idiot until the end of the
journey, or that person gets off the highway, whichever comes first.

Reduce road rage, my fellow American drivers.  Drive as the Germans do.
Keep  Right Except to Pass.  It's a rule that, if people were to follow it,
would do more for the sanity of American highways than anything else.

-Luke


Brett Dikeman wrote:

> So, I'm tooling along on the Mass Pike out of Boston, minding my own
> business in a good, semi-law-abiding-mood(75-80ish) in the left
> lane(doing what one should in the left lane, passing other cars) when
> some yuppie scum in a new a4 1.8t(lic. plate and color not provided
> to protect the annoying) comes flying up.
>
> He sticks around for a bit, not going around into the rightmost lane
> or anything(probably waiting for "slow poke 5000" to get out of his
> way by merging into the lane full of traffic.)  I quickly got tired
> of his ability to apply armor-all to my rear bumper, so I floored it.
> The 115-ish HP difference between our cars solved the immediate
> problem of his little bumper-hugging habit.
>
> Grr.  Further proof there should be an ownership exam.  Great car,
> but lots of annoying drivers; half buy 'em for status symbolsin these
> parts(same ones are permanently afflicted with the
> rear-fog-light-on-24-hr-a-day-just-in-case-it-suddenly-turns-into-a-bl
> izzard syndrome.)
>
> Bah.  Such a waste.
>
> Brett
> 91 200q20v a la TAP
> ------
> Brett Dikeman
> brett@pdikeman.ne.mediaone.net
> ~)-|


Luke R. Sponholz
Software Engineer
Lynne Gilfillan Associates, INC.
(703) 293-2373 ext. 305
luke@lga-inc.com

"Colorless green ideas sleep furiously."   -  Noam Chomsky