fwd: DISASTER AT JIFFY LUBE!!!!

[JordanVw@aol.com]

hi, all.. this was forwarded to the  VW Vanagon list, that i'm also on, but i 
thought you all might get a kick out of it, and maybe share some of your 
"quickie lube/moron mechanic" disaster stories...   

chris

Subj:	DISASTER AT JIFFY LUBE!!!!
Date:	99-07-01 12:58:19 EDT
From:	JordanVw
To:	vanagon@gerry.vanagon.com

since i change my oil regularly, and sometimes dont have time to crawl under 
the van if i'm in a time constraint, or have to deal w/ unloading used oil, 
or just plain dont feel like it (changed it enuf myself) -  sometimes i just 
go to a quick lube place, and have it done...usually the ones where theres a 
drive in bay, and just a open pit in the floor.  and i usually stand there 
and watch the kid take off the filter, and instruct him that if he strips the 
threads in the drain plug (bottom of case) - he will die :<)  and then add 
the oil myself (20-50 synthetic) and theres never a prob.  

today was different....

i happened to be shopping at the local sears...and they have a new jiffylube 
franchise that they opened in conjunction with the sears auto center..  
anyway, it's all new, and the lifts are the above floor type, with platforms 
that lift up, that the car is driven up on.  all the employees, are new, and 
most of them have names i cant pronounce. 

the first thing Julio (yes, that was his name on his nametag) did was drive 
the van ('84 Vanagon) up on the lift platform FRONT first, when the service 
platform is in the front, since most cars are front engined.

that was bad omen #1.

then i proceed to climb up the stairs of the platform, and straddle the wheel 
supports in the back, while the van is on the lift, to get the hatch up, and 
engine lid open to check the ATF.  Julio asks me what i'm doing, and states 
that "our insurance regulations dont allow customers on the lift platform"  
then says "oh!  the engines in the back?  that's wierd, man"   <----- that is 
a direct quote..   scary huh?

that was bad omen #2.   i should have said lower the van back down and got 
the hell outta there...but i didnt.. 

then he drains the oil (almost takes off the wrong drainplug)  and removes 
the filter, and reinstalls a new filter and the drainplug.

ok...so far, so good eh? not.

so he starts lowering the van, so he can add oil, since he drove it up on the 
platform the wrong way..

i was looking the other way, then all the sudden i hear all this yelling in 
spanish....

i look back at my van - and it IS TILTED...WITH 3 WHEELS ON THE 
PLATFORM...AND THE WHOLE LEFT FRONT OF THE VAN IS BEING HELD UP BY THE 
DRIVERS DOOR!!! 

the MORON left the drivers door open when he lowered it!   the door got 
caught on the platform, and lifted the front of the van up almost 2 feet by 
the drivers door....


at this point, i am livid..  the door frame is bent...and the door wont 
close..at all...

julio, scared that he is gonna get sh*t canned, then lowers the van all the 
way to the floor, and quickly hops in, and holds the door while backing the 
van off the platform....

WITHOUT ANY OIL IN IT.  

at this point, i am ready to beat the krap out of this guy.. out comes the 
"supervisor"...and he assures me that i will be fully compensated for any 
damages, and it will be repaired completely.....after a bunch of yelling...

after filling out some accident reports, and adding the oil, the supervisor 
hands me a bunch of free jiffy lube coupons...i dont think i'll be needing 
those...    and drove home with the seatbelt holding the drivers door 
closed......

makes you think twice before you leave your van in someone elses hands...

chris