clarkson on the rs4...

[Dave Eaton]

jeremey clarkson's comments on the rs4 (and the ur-q).  copied for your
enjoyment...

dave
'95 rs2
'90 ur-q

To you, it's a ridiculously expensive five-door estate car. I mean, £46,500
for what is basically an old Audi A4. You probably think that for this price
the seats should be upholstered in seal and otter fur. They actually seem to
be upholstered in the offcuts from one of Ben Elton's jackets.

So what's the big deal? Well, this week I was coming down the A1 in convoy
with a 5-series BMW. It was late and pouring with rain but even so we were
making progress, if you know what I mean.

It had been a long day, and I was tired, which is why it took me longer than
usual to notice something was amiss with the Bee Em. It was no longer going
along conventionally, but sort of sideways. And I was heading straight for
it.  I knew, of course, I should ease off the power and continue to aim at
it, safe in the knowledge that when I got there it would have moved. Yeah
well, it never works out like that, does it? So what I did was swerve
violently . . . at the precise moment that I hit the river of water which
had caused the Bee Em to lose control.

The result was spectacular, insomuch as nothing happened. I sailed through
the torrent and past the BMW, which by then was going backwards on the
inside lane.

I fluctuate on the need for four-wheel drive on normal road cars. Sometimes
I think it's a marketing exercise which adds weight and expense. And
sometimes I think it's the biggest leap forward since the opposable thumb.
On the RS4, when it was late and wet and dark, I think it saved my life.

But it is by no means the best part of this car. That is the engine. It's a
2.8 litre V6 with 30 valves and two turbochargers. The result is 380bhp and
acceleration that can snap bone. And not just in a straight line. It might
not have the most sprightly steering but its ability to deal with
switchbacks, in any weather, puts me in mind of the original 20-valve
quattro. A car I adored.

Town, though, is where you get the biggest buzz because most people who walk
past it pay no attention. But there is a small number of men who remember
the day in 1974 when Blackbird touched down in Britain, 114 minutes after
leaving New York.
They know. They didn't fall to their knees and whimper. They just lost
interest momentarily in what their girlfriend or wife was saying. They
looked at the car and then at me and we nodded the imperceptible nod of men
who share a common bond. A love of really, really cool machines.

This car is not in-your-face ostentation. It's not a Jag or a Merc or a BMW,
which say things. The RS4 says nothing. It's just a quiet and restrained way
of turning miles into yards.