WOB - NAC

[Jim Haseltine]

OK, its WOB, but I read this for the first time yesterday and thought that
I'd share it. After all, when trying to fix your Audi gets too much and you
phone a mental health professional, they might just have had the following
call answering menu installed :

* If you are obsessive or compulsive, press 1 repeatedly.
* If you are co-dependant, please ask someone to press 2 for you.
* If you have multiple personalities, press 3,4,5 and 6.
* If you are paranoid, we know who You are and what you want. Stay on the
line so we can trace your call.
* If you are delusional, press 7 and your call will be transferred to the
mother ship.
* If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a small voice will tell you
which number to press.
* If you are depressive, it doesn't matter which number you press  - no one
will answer.
* If you have a nervous disorder, please fidget with the # key until our
representative comes on the line.
* If you have amnesia, press 8 and state your name, address, phone number,
date of birth, National Insurance number and your mother's maiden name.
* If you have bi-polar disorder, please leave a message after the tone or
before the tone. Or after the tone.  Please wait for the tone.
* If you have short term memory loss, press 9.
* If you have short term memory loss, press 9.
* If you have short term memory loss, press 9.
* If you have short term memory loss, press 9.
* If you have short term memory loss, press 9.
* If you have short term memory loss, press 9.
* If you have low self-esteem, please hang up. All of our operators are too
busy to talk to you.



Regards,

Jim Haseltine